Flesh eating, walking dead Democrat zombies, bloodsucking Republican vampires, Tea Party werewolves, and Green Party hulks roam the land day and night, haunting our TVs and telephones, defiling our landscaped environment with signs. .Nothing can stop them but a final vote count, or after the state court challenges on close counts are done, a Supreme Court decision. Even that doesn’t stop them from coming back and back on a regular Election Day cycle like a plague of locusts and cicadas. These armies of the undead never die; they only retreat to their chambers to plot new campaigns. When they rest it is fitful.
Election Day, Never More Than Two Years Away
Cicadas and locusts have longer cycles than zombie and vampire candidates, who come out on two, four and six years Election Day cycles. They crave your political flesh and blood, your vote, and they will stop at nothing to get it. No amount of cash, no number of lies, half truths and false promises is too high, and no gutter or sewer too low, in pursuit of eternal life as an incumbent zombie or vampire.
Best Election Day Monster Costumes
Depending on your own color preference, and the color of your state or neighborhood on the network and cable news Election Day maps, the scariest monster in your precinct could look like Sarah Palin or Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid or John Boehner, Barbara Boxer or Christine O’Donnell. And then there are the local monsters that only locals know and loathe.
Election Day Survivalists Hunker in the Bunkers
In my true blue state, Maryland, most of the electorate elects not to elect on Election Day. Long before Election Day prospective voters go into survivalist mode. They stop answering their phones, watch less TV, throw heaps of unread election junk mail into the recycling bin, leave the house only when necessary, refuse to look upon strangers waving to them at busy intersections, and in general hunker down long before the general election. Three out of four eligible voters stayed away from the polls on primary Election Day this year, despite the fact that in Maryland the primary is the really important election. That’s because in urban and suburban areas the Democrat primary winners usually win the general election and the Republican primary winners in the more sparsely populated rural areas usually win the general election. Apparently would be voters in the Free State, and many other states, fear the bondage of zombies, vampires, werewolves and angry vegans, and the horror of election booth choices.