Ahhh…the thrill of entrepreneurism. It’s just like a roller coaster ride. It can be so fun, so scary and sometimes it just makes you sick to your stomach.
I have to keep reminding myself that these extreme emotional cycles are all part of the game. A game I chose to play.
This past Saturday morning, I awoke with cold sweats. Partly because I have been working ’round the clock and felt a flu coming on that could have easily been averted with a day watching old movies in bed.
Honestly, though, this episode of cold sweats was due mostly in part to that old dreaded word: FEAR.
I’ve learned a few things this past year, especially regarding money. I’ve learned that you can easily (and I do mean easily) go through a nest egg in the blink of an eye. I’m not talking about $5000 or even $25,000. I’m talking a great deal more…that nest egg you’ve been saving diligently for the past 15 years, grinding away in corporate America. You know, that nest egg that was meant to fund your mid-life crisis dream.
Needless to say, I ate the egg. It was a quick and tasty meal.
But I have to admit, after woofing it down, I have indigestion. Yep, this indigestion is reminding me that no matter how much you think you need, it’s never enough. And my food hangover is leading me to have the dreaded “what ifs.”
What if I’m just a fool? What if I had been more diligent with that business plan to start, saving me from walking down a few of those dead-end paths? What if I had not rented that incredibly expensive, “SOHO meets the mountains” loft in Basalt for two years, when a room without a view would have sufficed? What if I had kept working a bit longer in corporate America? What if I married a sugar daddy?
But then, I prayed. And although the what-ifs didn’t disappear, they did miraculously change.
What if all the incredibly synchronistic, glorious things that happen daily (and I mean daily) are little sparkling gems lighting my way? What if I needed to walk down a dead end path or two to gain the experience about what doesn’t work so that I can recognize what does? What if my nest egg provided just enough nourishment to help me get creative, yet kept me hungry enough so I don’t get lazy and rest on my laurels? What if I trust and surrender and know that I am OK today as I will be tomorrow. I will be just fine.
What if I focus on all the good instead?
- I had my first “hirer” testimonial come through this week.
- I have been told repeatedly by locals that my ads are working, my marketing is working and they see HireMeAspen whever they go.
- I have started receiving referrals.
- I have started partnering with some incredible people and organizations.
- I am happy.
It’s all starting to come together. Last night while attending a BBQ at this most incredible estate, a friend pulled me aside. This, by the way, is the same wonderful friend who I shunned six weeks ago when she tried to offer friendly advice. (I wrote about that less-than-my-best encounter here.)
Last night, I am proud to report, I was in a better place. I listened and learned. I told her about my “cold sweats” and she patiently and kindly reminded me of all the progress I’ve been making (and it’s only been 6 weeks).
It’s hard to see the big picture when you’re in the thick of things. But, she’s right. So far, I have made a great deal of progress. I am actually kind of proud of it.
Hip Hip Hooray!