It seems as if, before the Thanksgiving turkey is even carved and the sweet potatoes are on the table, retail stores and holiday radio stations are playing Christmas songs 24/7. Of course, some Christmas songs are traditional and classic, and truly evoke the feeling and spirit of the holiday season. Others, not so much. The following are ten of the world’s worst Christmas songs ever (and should be banned from the radio):
1. “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Bob Geldof – It’s a wonder why respectable 80’s musicians like Bono, Sting and Duran Duran decided to take part in this epic musical disaster. This “Feed the World” anthem was supposed to generate millions of dollars for world hunger relief. And it did. Meanwhile, we are stuck hearing this atrocious excuse for a song, an insult to Christmas music, year after year. According to Fox News, even songwriter Bob Geldof recently told the U.K. Daily Mail how much he absolutely loathes this song. That pretty much sums it up.
2. “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)” by Alvin & the Chipmunks – We all know by now that Alvin really wants a hula hoop. In fact, the very annoying lyric of “I still want a huuuuuula hoooooop” will undoubtedly get stuck in your head for weeks on end.
3. “Santa Baby” by Madonna – What better way to diminish the real meaning of Christmas than to glorify materialism to the extreme. “Santa Baby” is nothing more than a spoiled, childish rant, meant to be seductive, but coming across as whiny and selfish.
4. “Last Christmas” by Wham! – This annoying song has nothing to do with Christmas and simply uses the holiday as a setting for a breakup; thus, logically, it’s not a true holiday song. So, to George Michael – stop hooking up with people on Christmas; save that for the 364 other days of the year; and to Radio – stop playing this song just because it has the word ‘Christmas’ in the title.
5. “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney – Oh, Paul, what happened to the same man who gave us “Hey Jude”? “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” is a travesty; the irritating, repetitive vibrating sound makes us want to punch our radios and makes this one of the world’s worst holiday songs.
6. “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” – This might possibly be the world’s single worst Christmas song ever. Okay, we get it. It’s from a movie. However, when taken out of the context of a movie and played on the radio during the holidays, it becomes a completely ridiculous song containing mean, nasty insults that has nothing to do with Christmas. Whatsoever.
7. “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by anyone unfortunate enough to sing it – This song leaves the listener with a lot of questions, and actually has dark, sinister undertones. Though it appears a bubbly, comedic song, it actually refers to drunkenness, drugs, dysfunctional families, finding a violently bruised body… and the apparent question of why is no one upset that Grandma died? Last, but not least, why is this irritating, less-than-cheery song played every Christmas?
8. “Same Auld Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelberg – Just what is this song about? Is it a New Year’s song or a Christmas song? Why is it all about drinking? What does it have to do with Christmas? “Same Auld Lang Syne,” according to Wikipedia, “is now frequently played during the holiday season and is integrated with traditional Christmas songs, despite having little to do with the holiday other than a brief mention of Christmas Eve.” Well said.
9. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Bruce Springsteen – Why, oh why, did he feel the need to record this song? He was so respected as a king of rock and roll, and then… this. Big mistake, Springsteen, big mistake.
10. “The Christmas Shoes” by NewSong – Forget the “Grinch”; THIS may be the world’s worst Christmas song ever. The lyrics try to send a hopeful, positive message evoking the Christmas spirit about giving to the less fortunate and condemning self-centeredness. However, it fails dramatically by trying way too hard to pull on the heart strings with overly sentimental, sappy clichés. The song’s plot doesn’t make sense (a child at a store alone, without money, buying shoes for his dying mother to make her look beautiful, when he should be at the hospital instead), and seems to trivialize the heartache of cancer and loss. That’s why it is, indeed, one of the world’s worst Christmas songs ever.
Are there any holiday songs you just can’t stand? Anything that makes you turn the station after you hear the first few notes? Comment and share your own list of annoying Christmas songs!