This week in history provides interesting tidbits randomly plucked from our very own history cupboard. In today’s menu you’ll find tasty morsels from 1950 to 1992. And you’ll enjoy a luscious dessert at the end of this feast. Also, I shouldn’t write before breakfast.
November 29, 1963 – President Lyndon B. Johnson formally appoints a commission to investigate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Johnson wrote that he keenly felt the weight of responsibility, and that the American government was in confusion like “cattle caught in a swamp.”
The commission reviewed findings from several federal organizations and determined Oswald acted alone in killing President Kennedy. This has not satisfied conspiracy theorists even today. Their collective argument is “well, somebody was on the grassy knoll.” Others still wonder what a “knoll” is and, specifically, why it would be grassy.
November 29, 1950 – The United States begins a desperate retreat under overwhelming attacks by the Chinese in North Korea.
This is also the date American education shows signs of not being up to par. A survey of thousands of high school seniors indicated irritation at learning North Korea doesn’t border Vermont. They were also surprised the Chinese aren’t from China Town.
November 30, 1954 – Mrs. Elizabeth Hodges of Sylacauga, Alabama, who says she knows where North Korea is and to just give her a second to remember, was hit by a meteorite that bounced into her hip, leaving a nasty bruise. This is the first modern case of a meteorite striking a human.
Her husband told reporters, “See, Ah done tol’ Lizzy she’d better return that decanter t’ Maw before gawd seen fit to dew sumthin’ t’ her. I reckon he done did, eh? That’ll learn ‘er”
Seconds later the meteorite narrowly missed Mr. Hodges’ head, the first modern case of a near miss by a space object.
December 4, 1992 – “Operation Restore Hope” begins as President Bush orders troops into Somalia. When addressing Congress he spoke these immortal words, “Wherever Somalia is, we’ll defend our right to defend it.”
And finally, the most important event in all of history:
December 1, 1989 – Darren Koobs marries his college sweetheart. Witnesses report that the preacher blushed during their wedding kiss. Mr. Koobs, however, did not blush and claimed, “I forgot where I was. Isn’t she perfect?”
If you would like to learn more (or more accurate versions) of what happened this week in history, check out our sources at History.com:
LBJ forms commission to investigate Kennedy assasination
Chinese overwhelm Allies in North Korea
Meteorite strikes Alabama woman
Bush orders troops into Somalia
If you enjoyed this installment of This Week in History, you might also like to catch up on previous issues:
This Week in History: November 1 – 7
This Week in History: November 7 – 13
This Week in History: November 14 – 20
This Week in History: November 21 – 27
(The editors of this column are aware the first two links have overlapping dates. Rest assured our writing staff have gone to bed without Skittles and will do so until able to point North Korea out on a map.)