Many people don’t see a problem with a having a best friend of the opposite sex, however, this can start some problems when one or both of the individuals are in a relationship. There are some that feel it’s necessary to choose one over the other but keeping some tips in mind can help you have both relationships, have a good balance between the two and ensure that everyone is happy.
Have Open Communication
Before even getting into the relationship, that person should know about your best friend so, after the fact, it doesn’t seem like such a secret. If one person feels as though they don’t see you enough, especially if it’s due to time spent with the other person, make sure to listen to their comments and take them into consideration. At some point, your partner may take issue on something regarding you and your best friend and, without being defensive, you need to be able to look at things from his or her point of view. On the other hand, if you feel as though one or both are putting you in a bad place, for example, if one is constantly bad mouthing the other, voice your opinion and make sure to put an end to it. Honesty is key, so even if you are hanging out with your best friend, tell your partner the truth about who you’re going to be with.
Don’t Tell Your Best Friend More Than Your Partner
There are more circumstances than not when your partner should hear information before you tell your best friend. For example, if you are pregnant, got a promotion or have a health issue, you should hold off telling your best friend until your partner knows first. For such important circumstances, your partner may feel unimportant and maybe even jealous if he or she was informed after. Your partner should be your main confidant, especially when it comes to happenings in your life.
Be Touchy Feely With Your Partner
If someone feels comfortable with their best friend, especially one of the opposite sex, it’s not uncommon to be a little touchy feely with that person. This can include anything from hand-holding to sitting in the person’s lap. When you’re in a relationship, this behavior may be misinterpreted and can cause a few issues. Opt for being touchy feely with your partner over your best friend and, whether or not your partner is around, be conscious of actions that you may otherwise not think twice about doing if you were single.
Treat A Partner as a Partner and A Best Friend as a Best Friend
It sounds simple enough, however, sometimes with a best friend and a relationship the lines may blur a bit. While your partner should also be your best friend, there should be a line when it comes to your best friend being or seeming like anything more than that. One way to avoid a problem is to not put your best friend in positions that your partner should be in, for example, being your date to a wedding or staying at your place because it’s late and the ten minute cab ride would be too long. In addition, if you are out with both at the same time, it should be quite apparent whom you are in a relationship with and who is just the friend.
Avoid Dating Spots with Your Best Friend
This is along the lines of not putting your best friend in a position that your partner should be in. Skip going to spots with your best friend that would make it seem as if you two are on a date. For example, skip the romantic restaurant and opt for something a little more appropriate for friends.
When you have a best friend of the opposite sex and you’re in a relationship, you need to make sure you handle both carefully to avoid creating any problems or discomfort. One person should never feel as though they are any less important than the other. As much as you can do to make both feel as though they are valuable to your life, it is up to each of them to make it as comfortable for you and not put you in an awkward position.