You’ve met a terrific young lady, and the attraction seems mutual. She has even given you her phone number, and invited you to call her.
Since you are not the outgoing type, the thought of making that first phone call makes you extremely nervous! Relax. If you utilize these tips this evening, she’ll probably try to call you tomorrow night, just to enjoy the pleasure of your conversational talent. Here’s how to proceed:
* Be sure you have a good connection. Even when talking to a sparkling conversationalist, it’s very annoying to have to guess what every third word is. If you’re restricted to a cell phone, you would be well-advised to call from a phone booth.
* Ask if she’s busy. Someone who calls to chat when you’re in the middle of washing your hair or engrossed in a good movie on TV, can be irritating. If it’s an inconvenient time, ask when she’ll have a few minutes to chat.
* Keep it clean. Cursing, swearing, dirty jokes, offensive language, or remarks prejudiced against minorities are definite turnoffs for many girls.
* Avoid controversial issues. Discussions about politics or religion are better left for face-to-face conversations later in the relationship.
* Don’t interrupt. Wait for a brief pause in the conversation. That’s a signal that she’s finished speaking, and it’s your turn.
* Try to project kindness and enthusiasm. Let her know she’s special; use her name often. It’s fine to drop a compliment or two, but don’t overdo it and be sure to be sincere. If she’s failing in school, don’t tell her you admire her sharp mind.
* Be a good listener. Ask her to elaborate if you don’t understand all of the information she’s giving you. Don’t spend time thinking about what you’re going to say next.
* Use your sense of humor. Try to make her laugh. There is a funny side to many things in life and it’s a gift to be able to see it. Everyone enjoys being in the company of someone who makes them happy.
* Have a list of topics or mutual interests to discuss: news events, her job, school, her hobby or pet. Ask her about her day. There are lots of open-ended questions you might use: her favorite singer, actor, author or pet peeve. People love talking about things they’re passionate about. Do not ask whom she’s been dating, or talk about your past girl friends.
* Be yourself. Don’t boast or brag. If this relationship is to go anywhere, you both need to enjoy the interaction. Relax, speak calmly and try to find common interests to discuss.
* Be positive, upbeat and optimistic. Smile as you speak, she’ll sense it and you may be able to tell she’s smiling back.
* Keep the call reasonably brief. Leave while she’s still enjoying the dialogue. She’ll be anxious for your next conversation.
It’s important to remember that girls are people too. They like many of the same things guys like: kindness, attention. the feeling of being special, fun and laughter. If you two are going to connect in a significant way, you have to be comfortable in each other’s company, on the telephone or in person.
This first phone call is a chance to see whether or not whether the mutual attraction with the seemingly terrific young lady was momentary or the beginning of a special friendship. What are you waiting for? Make that call!