My grandmother had three sets of twins. My mother had a twin brother named Paul who was the charismatic twin. He was able to charm people and easily made friends while my mother was the shy twin who had trouble making friends. Paul was also the needy twin who need positive attention and looked for it in bad ways.
Twins like regular siblings have different personalities and they have different needs. Some twins might naturally be close like my aunts were while other twins may not have much in common and need to have personal space like my mom and her twin.
Even though my mom and her twin were not close they got along and did not argue. My twin aunt were close and did everything together and they fought but fighting became part of how they got along with each other. You may have twins that need to argue and as long as they argue fairly it is ok to communicate that way.
Twins that argue about everything need some personal space and that might help them get along with each other better. You need to be fair with twin rivalries and don’t let one or both twins feel like they are not your favorite. This is hard to do since you need to be fair with both twins evenly. This doesn’t mean you have to be sure to give both twins the same things but the twins need to both feel loved. You may need to be sure to spend private positive time alone with each twin to let them know you love them and their twin.
You may need to teach your twins to love each other and let then know how special their twin is. Tell them “no one is closer to you then your twin and you should love each other.” Explain that arguments are natural since you won’t always get along with each other but work out your differences when they come.
It is hard to do but don’t show favoritism. It is important to give each twin positive attention when they do something good without letting the other twin feel bad. If you can give both twins good attention at the same time or wait till you get a private moment to tell one that they did something good.
If your twins don’t get along at all you may need to give them separate space and let them do things apart. Just because they are twins does not mean they should do everything together. You may even have to make a no fighting rule. Instead they can sit down and talk about the problem with low quiet voices until the problem is worked out.
Twins can be a challenge. Fighting is not necessarily a bad way for twins to communicate as long as they fight fairly with each other.