It was recently reported that the White House will, “go green”, by installing solar powered water heaters on the presidential mansion’s roof. Environmentalists applaud the action as only weeks ago the White House declined to place solar panels on the roof. However, not everybody is pleased with the addition as VP Joe Biden believes that it will make it impossible for him to have a hot shower on a rainy day. Ten other misconceptions that the vice president has about green and not so green energy are listed below.
1. Joe Biden regularly praises the efficiency of AmTrak trains as he believes that they run on marsh mellows and gum drops.
2. The vice presidential has mistakenly referred to petroleum as a “renewable source of energy” which is made by three-eyed leprechauns which leave somewhere near the center of the earth.
3. During the Power Earth 2010 Global Energy Summit, held in Seattle Washington, VP Joe Biden suggested that if tea party members are elected to Congress in large numbers, then maybe their hot air can be used to generate energy if a gigantic wind turbine is installed in the top of the Capitol building.
4. During the 2010 presidential election, Joe Biden referred to solar energy as a miracle which works by a mysterious, “black magic”, which Bill Gates developed in secret at the North Pole in 1971.
5. To decrease global warming, if the vice president feels that he is going to burp during dinner, he places a plastic bag over his head to catch the hot gases escaping from his body.
6. Working alone for three months, the vice president went through reams of color construction paper and crayons to design a new national energy grid which would utilize wind power. Every citizen would wear a blue cap with a “miniature wind turbine” on top which powers hidden rechargeable batteries.
7. When touring a New Age power plant which derives energy from the power of waves hitting the coastline in North Carolina, the vice president said that, “surfers are going to be very upset because if this technology goes viral. . . there won’t be many waves left.”
8. When touring a high-tech “green” garbage incinerator in New Jersey which uses temperatures above that in the sun, the VP asked the plant manager, “why don’t we just send all of this junk into space?”
9. The vice president recently bought an electric car, a Tesla motors limousine, which has been unused for weeks in the vice president’s garage because he hasn’t been able to figure out where to put the batteries.
10. Despite assurances from politicians and scientists that it would never work, VP Joe Biden has on numerous occasions advocated rerouting the Mississippi River to the Grand Canyon in order to create the world’s largest hydroelectric power plant.
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