As if the average American didn’t need any more reason to view of the state of Arizona as a backwards land of rednecks and Tea Party stronghold, it was recently announced in the news that the United States Department of Justice would be suing Phoenix Sheriff Joe Arpaio over his failure to hand over documents related to how he runs his office. While it is common knowledge in Arizona that Arpaio makes his jail inmates to live in tents and wear pink underwear, a number of other surprising facts about the sheriff are surfacing. Ten of them are listed below.
1. Arpaio was kicked out of the Tea Party in 2008 for being “too conservative” and going too far in suppressing the rights of Hispanics.
2. Arpaio wasn’t technically born to a human mother, but was assembled from leftover body parts from conservative politicians such as Barry Goldwater and part of his brain actually was built with brain tissue from the late Ronald Reagan.
3. Arpaio has commented privately to staff that he hopes that one day he will be made dictator of all of Arizona, and that he will use his power to throw his political opponents in a gigantic outdoor tent jail he plans on building outside of Phoenix.
4. Arpaio only eats “American food” which he describes as mostly pizza, hamburgers, fried liver and “folk food” like boiled raccoon and buffalo. He has refused to eat anything that he considers to be foreign such as tacos or dim sum.
5. Arpaio has a dog named Himmler which he claims can “sniff out” illegal immigrants living in Phoenix. The Justice Department is looking into whether this is just a way to avoid a lawsuit over racial profiling.
6. The tough talking Sheriff went to school in Frankfurt Germany at an institution that has been criticizes for teaching Neo-Nazi propaganda to its students. Arpaio denies this even though supporters have confirmed that he makes frequent references to Hitler in private.
7. Four years the good sheriff made his prisoners keep up his yard and clean his house. However, when one of the prisoners supposedly found a cachet of automatic weapons and counterfeit money, he ended the practice.
8. Neighbors of the sheriff have complained for years that he frequently shows up in the middle of the night to ask them if they’ve seen in the illegal immigrants in the neighborhood.
9. Though the food at Arpaio’s jail is bare-bones basic, every year on his birthday he allows the inmates to watch video footage of him eating a six course meal at a fancy restaurant somewhere in Phoenix. He says that doing so will motivate the inmates to stay out of jail.
10. Rumors have circulated for years that just like J. Edgar Hoover, Arpaio dresses up in women’s underwear before he goes to bed each night.
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