It was recently announced that the largest public work construction project in the history of the United States, a proposed $9 billion underground train tunnel between New Jersey and New York, may get the green light even though Republican governor Chris Christie wanted to cancel the project. Christie is concerned that the project could potentially cost much more than initial estimates, without being able to pay for itself.
However, the White House is concerned that pulling the plug on the project would mean the loss of thousands of jobs and would deny an easier transportation route between Manhattan and New Jersey. But could there be a secret use for the tunnel that the public doesn’t even know about? Ten possible secret uses of the planned New Jersey-New York tunnel are listed below.
1. Some believe the tunnel could be used to secretly transport aliens from Grand Central Station to a secret research facility somewhere in New Jersey. When asked about this by reporters, the White House did not specifically confirm or deny this rumor.
2. Others have speculated that VP Joe Biden, a longtime fan and supporter of the nation’s Amtrak train system, will use the tunnel to secretly attend Broadway musicals each week.
3. Sources from inside the White House, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that Pres. Obama plans to use the tunnel to meet secretly with Wall Street bankers about creating a new financial system based on bartering and the price of seaweed biscuits.
4. Some conspiracy theorists believe that the subway will be for the exclusive use of politicians and that it will connect the Capitol building in Washington DC to downtown Toronto Canada. Apparently, according to the Vice President, the entrance and exit points to this new subway system remained, “classified”, and only those with a special congressional VIP ticket will be allowed to ride it.
5. It is possible that large portion of the tunnels will be used to transport toxic waste from points north of New York into New Jersey where about 90% of the nations hazardous material is recycled each day into harmless cardboard fry boxes for use at McDonald’s.
6. It is rumored that the construction of the tunnel will be used as a cover story for the construction of a series of secret underground storage containers which will hold the nation’s strategic chocolate chip cookie dough reserve.
7. Some animal rights supporters want to use the tunnel to create a natural habitat for alligators who have for decades lived in New York sewers, many which are being edged out of their natural habitat by mutated beavers which are three times their normal size.
8. Former president George W. Bush have speculated that the underground rail system could be used in an emergency to evacuate people from New Jersey should the state be attacked by, “evildoers as bad as the evil flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.”
9. Hillary Clinton has said on numerous occasions that the money behind the tunnel should be scrutinized to determine the source to make sure that it isn’t being funded by the nebulous, and strangely quiet, right-wing conspiracy.
10. Tea Party members, afraid that the tunnel will be used to allow UN troops to enter and easily occupy Manhattan, have staged a protest against the construction of the tunnel.
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