Hardcore fans of the TV show Glee have known that the airheaded, slutty and snotty cheerleader known as Brittany often times had the most memorable lines despite the fact that Sue Sylvester’s outrageous proclamations garnered most of the attention. Yes, I may be guilty of a top ten list or two of Sue’s best comments but I think Brittany deserves just as much recognition.
Classics like “dolphins are just gay sharks” were so moronic and hilarious but so often thrown into the middle of a frenzied conversation. It was easy to miss them so the best way to catch the best of Brittany was to use your TiVo and watch episodes repeatedly. Which is exactly what many fans have done, not that I am naming names.
But during season 2 things have been a bit different for Brittany and it all happened thanks to the odd similarity between her full-name (Brittany S. Pierce) and that of the pop diva Britney Spears. In the Britney/Brittany themed episode we learned of Brittany’s name in a scene where for once she wasn’t just the hilarious final zinger. She actually had a monologue.
Since then her lines each episode have gone up dramatically so much so that she is even half of a Glee power couple with wheelchair bound Artie. It is amazing what Brittany can get away with saying just because she is blonde, cute, dumb and a cheerleader. For instance, in a recent episode she asked Artie’s ex-girlfriend “When you make out with him does he ever just lay there?” So bad but so good.
So even though Brittany proved to be as gifted a singer as the real Britney (not good), it is interesting to note that these two blonde divas share other traits besides their name. They are both incredibly talented dancers and they both have a knack for a hilariously stupid one liners. Only Brittany is just a character played by the very talented Heather Morris and Britney is, well, just played by herself.
Here are my top ten Brittany S. Pierce quotes of all time. Or at least so far.
1.) Brittany: “One day I want to go to Paris to visit the oeuvre.”
2.)Mr. Schuester: Who knows what this word means (ballad)?
Brittany: It’s a male duck.
3.) Brittany: “I don’t brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.”
4.) Brittany: “I am pretty sure my cat’s been reading my diary.”
5.) Brittany: “When I pulled my hamstring I went to a Misogynist.”
6.) Brittany: “I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold and decided to take all of my antibiotics at once. Now I can’t remember how to leave.”
7.) Brittany: “People think I went on vacation but I spent all summer lost in the sewers.”
8.) Brittany (on whipping your hair around while dancing): “It works best when you act like you are getting tasered. It’s like cool epilepsy.”
9.) Kurt: “So what are you going to be this year for Halloween?”
Brittany: “I am going as a peanut allergy.”
10.) Brittany: “Mr. Schue taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated.”
And one final Bonus:
11.) Brittany (to Artie who is paralyzed): “I’ve been squeezing your leg for the past half-hour. Aren’t you attracted to me?”
Source: E! Online
Watching too many Glee episodes