With a reality show, and dozens of paid speaking engagements, Sarah Palin as the face of the Tea Party has seemingly everything . . . except her own designer line of clothing. Palin recently remarked that she wished that there was a line of clothes for “Mamma Grizzlies” who feel equally at home in the rugged outback and in political office. Now this pipe dream has become a reality.
Palin’s new clothing and accessory line, which the former governor has overseen design of, will be sold in Banana Republics across the country. Ten of items in the “Essentially Sarah” collection are listed below.
1. Plaid mittens which come in contemporary colors of brown, grey and black. Perfect for taking long hikes in the subzero weather in Alaska or for a night on the town.
2. Double thick military strength fabric with silk interior dress pants. These dress pants are ideally suited for rugged use either when hunting moose or when trying to catch a cab in New York. And the silk interior lining makes them softer than the belly of a freshly killed sea otter.
3. The Essentially Sarah purse. Made out of imitation moose wool, it has compartments for both tea bags, a cell phone, and huntin’ riffle ammo.
4. Beige luxury hiking boots. Made partly from space age polymers, these are probably the first hiking boots made from 85% crushed velvet, but splatter resistant enough that you can use them when skinning a bear.
5. Essentially Sarah reversible jacket. On the outside it is a camaflouge hunting jacket suited for the American Northwest and covered with high tech “pixilated camo”, while when reverse it is a brilliant red jacket suitable for seeing a play on Broadway.
6. “Drill Baby Drill” sweater. Made from Walrus hair and imported Russian polyester, this pullover will help keep you warm while working on the oil rig, or while protesting in front of the White House.
7. Essentially Sarah baby polar bear fur skirt. For businesswomen who don’t believe in all of the hype surrounding global warming.
8. Heated roof top gun rack. Ideal for taking those hunting riffles with you on a hunting trip by strapping them to the roof of your car, and keeps them warm just in case you spot game during your drive.
9. Sarah Palin’s industrial strength blender. Powerful enough to mince up chunks of moose kill, skin, bone and all, to make the perfect moose meat loaf.
10. Essentially Sarah keychain. Comes with a handy wilderness knife to gut wolves and fish wherever you are.
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