Sears, the famed retailer which produced the widely disseminated Sears Roebuck catalog of decades past, has come out with a new catalogue which the company hopes will go viral-a zombie catalog (No joke, you can see it here sears.com/zombies). Sears may be hoping to cash in on a raging zombie virus type A epidemic in the northeastern United States.
But what exactly do zombies buy in the Sears catalog? Ten items made especially for the undead are listed below.
1. Zombie makeup. Nobody wants to go to work with pale-gray skin.
2. Zombie fall clothing line. What goes best with blood shot eyes? Mostly dark to medium light browns and light blues and grays.
3. Zombie deodorant. Special industrial strength deodorant to cover up that fishy odor.
4. Zombie calling cards. Out late at night and forgot to call home? A pre-paid zombie calling card is an essential for zombie teenagers.
5. Zombie scarfs. Made with a special absorbent fabric which is good for soaking up blood and keeping you looking your best.
6. Zombie cookbook. A foreword by Hannibal Lecter and several chapters on roasting make this book a keeper.
7. Zombie Easy Bake oven for zombie kids ages 7 to 11. Capable of roasting a dead bird in three hours.
8. Zombie pasta machine. Perfect for making zombie pasta from semolina flour, spinach and roadkill.
9. Zombie sunglasses. Good for hiding blood shot eyes for stealthy observation of humans, also provides good eye protection against blood splashes.
10. Zombie running shoes. Good for racing through the woods or down residential streets at night due to extra traction provided by a patented no-skid shoe sole.
For Christine O’Donnell’s Top Ten Secrets click here.