To help boost his party’s chances in November-and to explain what the White House is doing to address the economic meltdown-President Obama attended a special town hall meeting with voters on CNBC. The cable channel, which often reports on financial matters, let audience members pepper the President with all sorts of questions. Ten of them, . . . and their surprising answers, are listed below.
1. A man from Carlsbad California wanted to know when Five Guys Burgers would be setting up shop in his town. The President reassured him that he was both a fan of the fast food burger joint and that he advocated a “burger stimulus” plan which would help Five Guys expand west.
2. A woman, who apparently works as a stock and options trader on Wall Street, wanted to know what the President was going to do about the Chinese government selling back trillions of dollars of treasury bonds. The President was surprised, said he didn’t know that that was happening and he said that the country was now most likely, “up the creek without a paddle” as audience members gasped.
3. A retired autoworker from Detroit wanted to know how plans for the electric car were coming along. The President said that the electric car was still probably decades away, but did reveal that Vice President Joe Biden was working on a car powered by Cocoa Puffs in his spare time.
4. A Tea Party member asked President Obama if he would resign from office so that the Tea Party could get on with the job of “restoring America’s lost liberty.” The President did not respond directly to the question but told the man he had put on his shirt inside-out, and that his fly was down.
5. A teacher from Alaska asked President Obama if he would send troops to Alaska to defend the state from encroaching Canadians who are bent on making the state part of the Maple Leaf’s dominion. The President said that he would consider it if he could figure out a way to ensure that Americans could buy Canadian bacon during any armed conflicts our northern neighbors.
6. A Wall Street banker, who yelled most of the time, asked the President when “businessmen could get back to making huge profits and bonuses.” The President said that he believed that that had sadly already happened.
7. A disillusioned lawyer asked President Obama if what she heard was correct-that people were turning into Zombies who would then begin, as Shakespeare said, “first killing all the lawyers.” President Obama said that was not true and that the CDC was tracking the spread of Zombie Virus Type A and that a vaccine was being developed.
8. A gun shop owner said that he thought the economy actually picked up the last couple years because after President Obama got elected he said that, “all sorts of weirdos were buying guns and ammo like you wouldn’t believe.” President Obama then asked him to report to the secret service the name of customers who over the past five years had bought firearms in his shop.
9. A woman from Ohio asked if the country will one day be introduced to the aliens who live at Area 51, a secret military base in southern Nevada. President Obama said that he wasn’t aware of any extraterrestrial visitors at Area 51, though he said that he might have seen Elvis or Big Foot when he toured the secret base over a year ago.
10. A man from Shreveport Louisiana told the President that his entire town was full of oil from the BP spill, and he asked the President when the National Guard would come and clean it up. President Obama then responded by saying that all of the oil had been eating by flesh eating bacteria harvested from Zombies.
For the Top Ten Canceled Washington D.C. Rallies click here.