We all know there are many reasons to take family vacations. Every family needs a break from the rigors of school, work, and life as they know it. Relaxation is a dream to most, not a tangible feeling. But how many of us can actually relax on our vacations? Do we really enjoy the time off, or are we constantly thinking about the top ten reasons to avoid family vacations?
Clark Griswold has doomed all future vacations in a station wagon
Unless you are planning on flying or driving a minivan, you can rest assured something will go wrong on your trip. As a station wagon owner, I can not get the images of dead relatives, flying vehicles, and loose luggage racks out of my head every time we leave town.
Little bladders, Big whiners
It will not matter whether your children(or wife) go to the toilet immediately before departing, they will have to go again within the hour. If your child decides to carry-on a Big Gulp as extra baggage, prepare to stop before hitting the highway.
Car cabin fever
Just like the cabin fever that you can get by being cooped up with no place to go, this behavior is often exhibited by too much travel, cramped legs, and little bladders being refused release.
If it’s not Disneyland, it’s gonna be boring
You can plan a spaceship trip to the moon and still be a huge disappointment to your family. No matter what you think,parents, Busch Gardens is not Disneyland .
Never Enough Time
One week is not long enough to see or do it all. Two weeks is not long enough either. You can try to stuff a four week vacation into four days, but you will only succeed in creating a monster(many little monsters).
The Dreaded Itinerary
Because there is never enough time, many families create a trip planner to help them sort out what to ignore and what to visit. Unfortunately, this rarely works, because the information Dad finds is from 1985, and if the attraction still exists, it is either permanently closed for renovation or has raised its prices from $1 to $55.
Hotel Room Cubicle
Has anyone ever stayed with your entire family in a hotel/motel room that was too large?
Costs of Eating
Fast food may be quick, but it still comes at a price. Eating out three times a day can make a budget deflate quicker than a balloon doing yoga on Bart Simpson’s head.
Despite your best efforts to ignore what you left behind in Anytown, USA, you will have the nagging feeling that something is wrong. Either a burglar has attempted a Home Alone escapade, your pet has fallen victim to the Empty Bowl Ogre, or you can not remember whether you left that darn iron on in the laundry room.
Of course, you may have a great vacation. I am not suggesting you will have an awful mishap. However, everyone eventually has to return home. The best reason to avoid a family vacation that has gone splendidly, is the thought of turning the car around and resuming your life. God Bless.