During a town hall meeting, President Obama was asked, “Is the American Dream dead?” The president responded in part by saying that, “Absolutely not. … There is not a country in the world that would want to change places with us.”
Reporters scratched their heads as apparently the president made a Freudian slip by insinuating that no other country in the world would like to take on the burdens that Americans now shoulder. But could there be some truth to the president’s misstatement, or in other words, does he know something that we don’t? Ten signs that an apocalypse of unrealized proportions will hit the country are listed below.
1. Vice President Joe Biden recently sold all of his stock, and put the money into gold and he bought a “survival cabin”, somewhere in the mountains in Virginia, which he has stocked with Good N’ Plenty candies, beef jerky and Diet Dr. Pepper.
2. Michelle Obama recently built an industrial size vegetable Garden at the White House in order to, “grows many vegetables as possible while the sun is still shining.”
3. Bo the White House dog supposedly has bought a doghouse in Guatemala where he hopes to be able to, “lie low”, for a couple of years while events unfold in the states.
4. Military personnel have secretly begun coding neighborhoods in the United States to determine what national landmarks and structures will be saved and what will be allowed to be demolished. On the save list is Disneyland and the Grand Canyon, and on the demolished list is pretty much everything in the state of New York.
5. Pres. Obama has in the past couple of weeks frequently asked Air Force One’s airplane pilot, “How far do you think we can get on a full tank of gas? Maybe all the way to the Arctic?”
6. John McCain recently said that if the situation in the country for some reason gets much, much worse, . . . then he might wish he was a POW again in Vietnam.
7. Oprah Winfrey’s recent announcement that she is heading with her closest fans to Australia for a week long vacation is actually a whole lot more permanent than it sounds.
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger recently told his staff that he is moving back to Austria and “if they want to live they should come with him.”
9. Grand Canyon National Park recently added an advisory to their website stating that the park would be open, unless “an earth shattering event fill the canyon with molten lava, water, glacial ice or some other toxic compound.”
10. President Obama in the past couple of months has secretly closed several zoos around the country and asked that important species of animals be transported to a secret modern day Noah’s Ark in Mexico so that, “something survives the catastrophe.”
For the Top Ten Signs that the Tea Party is All About Black Magic click here.