If True Blood episodes were potato chips, this would be the unpalatable, misshapen one with the green edges that you would probably just as soon toss away with the bag. As good as True Blood has been this season, a stinker of an episode laden with filler and boneheaded decisions from virtually every character really stands out.
Take Jason’s tearful confession to Tara about breaking Eggs. Just after she’d told him how safe he made her feel, how few people she could truly trust, he blurts out the news to ease his own aching conscience. I give all kinds of kudos to Ryan Kwanten and Rutina Wesley in the scene–their relationship could be touching if the writers would allow it to be so–but that scene rang false. Jason’s dumb, not cruel, and showing the character as socially inept as well as intellectually is a disservice to him.
In another example of dumbery so profound that I turned to my husband and said “What…seriously?,” Eric tells Sookie that his greatest regret in an entire millennium would be failing to kiss Sookie before he goes off to die heroically battling King Russell. I didn’t know the name Sookie was short for anything, let alone “Mary Sue.” So her fae blood makes her the Twinkie to all vampires’ inner fat kids; it’s a stretch, but I’ll make it. What I won’t accept is the possibility that a creature as old, powerful, and distracted as Eric would take time out to get to first base with Sookie.
Eric pretty much considers humans Hot Pockets with legs. It’s part of his charm, at least as he’s been portrayed by the television cast and Alan Ball. It makes no sense that he’d waste time with even a delectable upscale version of a snack like Sookie.
Bill, meanwhile, tries to convince Sookie that he’s all that is good and pure in the world despite clearly continuing to hide secrets from her. At this point, there is less suspense in a Bill/Sookie story line than in a Sesame Street sketch. Will Ernie get the best of Bert? Will the Cookie Monster do his “om nom nom” thing when presented with a plate of sweets? Will Sookie and Bill have a misunderstanding, almost break up, cry, have urgent makeup sex, and get back together? Yes. We already know it. Move on already.
For his part, Sam finds himself disturbed by unwanted memories of his own shady past. As with Jason’s offing of Eggs, the scene would have much more emotional impact if we had any reason to feel kinship with the victims. As it was, Sam–a bad doggie, to be sure, but not a murderous one–probably did countless people a favor by removing those grifters from the world. Shooting people is bad, but shooting bad people who have been bad to you is somewhat less bad.
Even Lafayette provided no respite from the general suckfest (and not in the good way) of tonight’s True Blood. His “V”-fueled trip down Shaman Lane felt forced. If they’re trying to make Laf into something supernatural, they should look for less ham-fisted and conventional ways to show that transformation.
Only the ancillary characters salvaged the show tonight. I don’t like Arlene’s bigotry, but I love the way she plays it and the way Jessica responds. Jessica and Hoyt are sweeter together than any other couple on the show, past or present. Terry is the best man ever. Crystal finally looked really pretty–as a cat. She should just stay in were-form whenever possible, because the stylists are doing her low-rent character no favors in the wardrobe and makeup department.
Even bad True Blood has its charms, bu this one had fewer than most. t I’m looking forward to next week and less of a bridge episode then. My prediction is a round of breaking up and making up for Sookie and Bill, another showdown between Arlene and Jessica, and more fractured behavior from Crystal as she tries to decide between controlling boyfriend and abusively controlling father.
Boy, I hope I’m wrong.