Making the decision to have a child is very exciting! Both you and your spouse/partner can begin to dream about what life would be like as a parent (or a parent to more than one). Children change your life and complete your family, and truly make every single day worth living. Deciding to expand your family should be an enjoyable process; however, for many it becomes a chore and a long, hard road.
When I first decided I would like to have a second baby and I presented the idea to my husband, he was thrilled! I am not sure if he was more thrilled by the idea of having another child, or by the act of trying to conceive, but whatever his reasoning, he was ready to get started. In fact, he was ready to get started right then and there. And later that night, and first thing the next morning. However, after a month of trying to conceive, I ended up with a negative pregnancy test and a yeast infection. So, because my patience had begun to fade along with any desire to have sex, I began to research the science of getting pregnant. I came across many tips, including which sexual positions are said to work best, the need to have sex before, during, and after ovulation, and how to track ovulation. I also read that it was helpful to put your legs up in the air for a few minutes after sex…now that is hot (or, not so much).
Nonetheless, that night, while my husband and I lay in bed with our computers on our laps, I looked over and said, “well I guess we have to have sex.” It was in that moment where we both knew it was work-time and no longer play-time. Sex had become a chore. So, I mechanically scooted over and began to assume position. Every few minutes, I would stop and in a very unsexy way say, “well maybe this position would be best to try.” My husband, in silence, did as he was told, “yupp.” Oh man, this was so different from our honeymoon days when sex was for fun and not for a purpose.
It started with that night and continued on each day. Each and every time I thought I may be ovulating, I would pull my husband into our bedroom, or bathroom or kitchen and get started. “I’m ovulating honey, let’s go, take your pants off.” And, guess what? That month, with a sore pelvis, no sexual desire, and the new ability to hold my legs over my head for 15 minutes at a time….I got the positive pregnancy test I had been looking for. And let me tell you, it was so absolutely thrilling!! But, if I could go back and do it all again I can only say that I would have enjoyed the process. When I told my husband I was pregnant, I think he was just relieved it was over. It was not the best feeling in the world. I would have preferred to have enjoyed our time conceiving. Therefore, next time when the time is right and we are ready for baby number three I will use the following tips:
1. Let sex be sex.
Sex should be fun, sexy and enjoyable. It should not be robotic and scheduled. It should be spontaneous and hot.
2. Try different positions for pleasure not purpose.
If you heard that you will have better luck conceiving with the man on top, or in doggy-style, then try out both ways! In fact, try many positions, but in a fun, thrilling way! Each night (or day) try a new position. While doing this, talk about what feels best and what you enjoy the most, rather than what you think is helping to impregnate you. It makes it much more sexy and fun!
3. Throw out the ovulation tests and the charts.
Instead of tracking ovulation with thermometers, test and charts, just increase your sex life! Make a decision to have a lot of sex and stick to it! Do not try to have sex only when you think you may be ovulating. Instead, have sex every night or every other night for enjoyment purposes! Also, it is a great exercise and a great way to stay close and intimate with your partner!
4. Remember it is play-time not work-time.
Above all else, do not make it a chore.
Have fun trying to conceive, and remember to keep sex sexy!!