We the people, an interesting concept and an ideal mankind has striven for since the expulsiion from the Garden of Eden. A society and a government of the people, by the people and for the people is something that takes work, cooperation, and mutual respect. Over the years our Supreme Court has made certain rulings that would appear to give us freedom from responsibility rather than the freedom to act responsibly. This truth becomes more self evident as we watch what appears to be the decline of our civilization happen before our very eyes.
We select toys for our children for a variety of reasons. They entertain, occupy the childrens time, educate, train and provide role models for our children. Part of our freedom from responsibility is the freedom to market toys for our children, including our teenagers and young adults, which carry messages we don’t really like as a society. A few toys have been highlighted for various reasons. Video games are particularly difficult because a game might be designed and marketed for adults but it s hard to keep teenagers and adolescents from getting a hold of them. Last year Burkha Barbie was blasted by Bill Oreilly and others as sending a terrible message to girls. This year Serial Killer Sam made the news. A video game that lets players play the role of taliban soldiers killing Americans has also made the news. It sounds like freedom and responsibility need to get together on this. The fact that we have the freedom to market toys like this doesn’t relieve us of our responsibility to be good citizens and forego making a buck in order to do the right thing.
Lets take a light hearted look at this subject. Just bear in mind that this article is in fun and is exagerated accordingly. It should not be taken seriously. A serial killer doll has been marketed in at least one toy store. This doll as shown on the news is a caucasion male, mid thirties, and in need of a shave. This does open up some interesting questions. Who are its victims What weapons come with it? Do the accessories include a Bound Bonnie, Gagged Glenda or Lassoed Lora doll? Since this is a unique career field, will there be racially diverse dolls featuring a Latino or African American doll in this role as well? What about a woman in the role? Maybe it can come with it’s own ACLU lawyer to protect it’s rights.
If this toy is allowed in the interest of making a buck, lets explore the possibilities. We could have a sex offender Samantha doll. The possible accessories are real money makers. She could double as a high scool teacher who gives her favorite students, Boner Billy and Hormone Herb extra credit work in sex education. She might come with a liberal judge who gives her a slap on the wrist and house arrest as a punishment. Doll could come with ankle bracelet that really beeps. Just what every parent wants their kid to play with.
We could only imagine what would happen if the marketing people, capitalism, toymakers and the war on terror got together. Picture a narrator doing a commercial hawking a group of cheerleaders touring a war zone with the USO. Cheerleaders that double as CIA operatives get captured by such fearsome terrorists as Kabul Katie and Kandahar Kathy. They could have documents and weapons in their boots,perhaps they could have grenades in their pom poms. Jihad Judy and her gang could keep Melissa and Bridget and their group bound and hidden in scale model safe houses and tunnels until Delta Force Dawn and her squad rescue them. Kids looking for excitement might want Dynamite Donna who comes with her own strap on dynamite jacket. It holds six firecrackers wired to an electronic detonator. She even has a crowded market place sold separately.
Perhaps your band of terrorists might want something gorier. After all, what better way to express the theme of peace on earth, goodwill to men than their very own Executioner Electra and Beheaded Brenda doll. This features Executioner Electra with her islamic sword with a kneeling Brenda. Brenda has stainless steel spring and release lever assembly holding Brendas head on. Electra’s sword comes down and hits the lever, springing Brenda’s head off. Realistic blood packets are sold separately. The head easily reattaches for hours of fun. Maybe your band of terrorists would really like their own Sharia Court starter set. It could come with a talking judge. When you bang his gavel down he sentences you to fifty lashes for being an infidel.
To represent good old red, white and blue values, get your kids values loaded toys like Gitmo Gretchen and her fun loving group of CIA interrogators. She comes with a scale model of Gitmo detention facility. Her group includes such favorites as Interragator Irene, Rocking Chair Rita and everyones favorite, Waterboard Wanda. The tape recording of Roseanne singing the Star Spangled Banner is played in the detention facility to torment the prisoners.
After looking at such tacky, tasteless and twisted toys, perhaps a doll wearing a burkha seems rather tame. In a season marked by never ending gift exchanges it might warm the heart of a little islamic girl to be given a gift by a well meaning christian friend. She might feel acceptance of her faith by receiving a gift that makes respecting and obeyings the tenets of her faith a positive thing.