Bullies believe that they are not bound by the same rules to which they bind others. This is referred to as the ‘two sets of rules’: one set for the bully and one set for everyone else. The bully controls both sets of rules and changes them as he wishes.
The bully believes that he may act as he wishes with no repercussion, and he does. He ignores privacy fences and protective enclosures. He crashes boundaries. He tramples on the rights of others. If a bully sets a boundary, however rudely, it must be respected as though it was the holy of holies. Woe to those who cross his irrational boundaries, even if it was accidental. Even if the boundary is irrational and not practical. Bullies lay traps for others to fall into.
Others exist only to provide for the bully, support him, defend him, fix his problems. Bullies are emotionally, physically and mentally needy, but they don’t admit it. They bite the hands that care for them. Bullies punish and hurt those that show them love and care.
The bully knows everything. He reads minds. He reads and judges on motives, always in the negative. If you did something it was to be mean. If he did the same thing, it was for good. Knowing why something was done is only important if it’s the bully’s motives being questioned. Other people do things with the wrong intentions according to the bully’s wisdom. The bully has ultimate judgment and has a grossly inflated superego (parent complex). He believes that in this game called life, he has been divinely inspired and directed to tell everyone else what to do, what they are doing wrong and how they should do their jobs.
If they are trapped or foiled, bullies set up camps. They pit people against each other if they can. Bullies incite violence, anger and bitterness. For all their bluff and bluster, however, a bully is a craven coward. His behavior is almost all passive-aggressive and insidious. A bully is a weakling. He is powerful only in his own tiny imaginary world. If you are being bullied, it helps to remember that there is every possibility that the bully is far more frightened of you than you are of him. He may not act like it, but if you show confidence and cool calmness, your self-control can be enough to scare him off.