Are you feeling frustrated because your wife is not interested in having sex with you? Are you unsure on what to do when your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you? If you answered, “yes” your not alone. Many husbands have a similar experience and are afraid of what can happen to the marriage. To help understand common thoughts and feelings men experience because their wife won’t have sex with them and what a husband can to when their wife doesn’t want to have sex, I have interviewed board certified sex therapist Jay Tow LMHC.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
“I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Board Certified Sex Therapist. I have been in private practice in the Ft. Lauderdale, Florida area for over a decade. I see couples and individuals in my office and do distance counseling via the webcam. I have helped many couples overcome a variety of sexual issues. I sometimes take an unorthodox approach to relationship and sexual issues and encourage my clients to think outside of the box.”
What are common thoughts and feelings a husband may have when his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him?
“I believe that it is a gradual process for a couple to have an active sex life to one where the wife decides she no longer wants to engage in sexual activity with her husband. I would think that he would be concerned that his marriage is in trouble and that his wife may be looking outside of the relationship in order to get her sexual needs met. He may very well be angry and resentful that his wife is no longer willing to meet his sexual needs.”
What types of impact can it can have on the marriage when the wife doesn’t want sex?
“This can have a devastating effect on a marriage. Sex and money issues are the most common reasons that marriages end. When a couple is not engaged in regular sexual activity the level of emotional intimacy and communication can decrease. Conflict increases and they become more distant with each other. Anger and resentment will grow if the problem is not discussed. As time goes on it becomes more difficult to resolve issues and mend the relationship. The husband may look outside of the marriage in order to get his sexual needs met.”
What can a husband do when his wife doesn’t want to have sex?
“He can talk about it and express his feelings and concerns. He can show a willingness to work toward resolving the issues that may be affecting her willingness to engage in sexual activity. He and his wife can explore the viability of the marriage and the options open to them. All marriages are different. If a couple wants to remain married they can discuss getting some of their needs met outside of the marriage. He can honestly explore all options including divorce. I believe that if all options are on the table a couple has a better chance of finding a solution that is acceptable to both parties.”
What last advice would you like to leave for a husband who has a wife that doesn’t want to have sex?
“Deal with the issues directly and work on ways to resolve them. Open and honest communication is very important for a relationship to be viable and healthy. Being able to really hear what your partner is saying is a part of good communication. If you are unable to resolve the issues on your own seek the help of a counselor or sex therapist.”
Thank you Jay for doing the interview on what a husband can do if his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him. For more information on Jay Tow or his work you can check out his website on www.alttherapist.com.
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