Remember the days when talking about shaving your nether regions was not socially acceptable? Talking about the soap you used to wash the above mentioned region or the cream you used to stop the odor emanating from said region was also not okay. What happened to those days? We all knew these items existed and if we didn’t, our mothers told us about them. Now all you have to do is turn on the TV to be bombarded with a whole array of commercials talking about what you should use for your nether parts.
I know you’ve seen them. There’s the one where the girl is running past the various shapes of bushes (get it – “bushes”). There’s a round one, a tall rectangular one and even an upside-down triangle. This company wants you to go out and buy their razor specially made to trim pubic hair. Then there are of course the various creams and wipes you can use for the odor that makes you look at your reflection and see a sad girl, who fears everyone else can smell her foul odor and is hiding her face in shame under the giant hood of her baggy sweatshirt. And don’t forget the never ending line of pads and tampons you have to choose from. I must admit however, I do enjoy the commercial for the line that is mocking all the pad and tampon commercials. “The ads on TV are really helpful, ’cause they use that blue liquid, and I’m like, oh, that’s what’s supposed to happen.”
The other night my jaw hit the floor when a commercial came on for a male body loofah. It starts off as an infomercial. The co-host walks on to the stage and explains, “So no one wants to play with dirty equipment, that’s why you have to keep your balls clean.” She then goes on to demonstrate how the loofah can clean small balls (golf balls), filthy balls (tennis balls) and an entire ball sack (sack of soccer balls). At one point she hands the golf balls to the other host who proceeds to roll them around in her hand. Are they really allowed to show this stuff on TV? It’s not like I was watching a “special” movie I had to pay for.
Admittedly, it is possible to keep your kids from seeing these commercials on TV if you are diligent about watching TV with them or keeping it on a station dedicated to children shows, but what about in the stores? While scanning the vitamin aisle of a well-known retail store my eyes fell upon a male enhancement pill. At that moment I was very grateful my kids are not old enough to read. I don’t know how I would respond to the question, “Mommy, what’s that for?” Besides the fact it seems they should relocate this item to the aisle that carries pregnancy tests and condoms (is it only funny to me that these are basically on the same shelf? When buying the pregnancy test I imagine someone looking over and saying, “Duh, I should have used a condom!”), but no self-respecting male would go up to the check-out to pay for his male-enhancement pills. That’s what the internet is for.
Maybe someday it will be socially unacceptable again to talk about these items like you would talk about your favorite restaurant. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that day will never come. Maybe I just need to go live in Pleasantville.