Why do we have the urge to date and mate? The philosophy of dating is based on the urgent need to seek out your, “soul mate,” the one person in the universe who will fulfill all your dreams and desires. Well that’s the romantic reason. The other rational reason is humanity’s need to procreate for survival, the initial explanation for our intermingling, even though it could be considered a slightly one-sided male concept. In cave man time, the male would point with a typical bat welding cave man stance, and grunt, “You-Me-Now,” and the female would be dragged off to a cave to mate, bear children, and of course cook and clean.
Times have changed, and thankfully for the better, but the urge to date and mate still exists today. Married people may look at their single friends racing around playing dating games and yearn for days long gone by. Singles admire their married friends with a steady relationship having someone always there for companionship and reliable sex. The grass often seems greener on the other side.
Dating can be painful if you tend to live your life honesty. Life can often be based on a daily pattern of lies depending on who you encounter, and exposing your life to a total stranger in quest for companionship can be particularly brutal. For females, there’s a need to have a man understand them, listen to their dreams and fulfill their romantic destiny. To males, there’s a basic need to find a beautiful women that other men will admire, be jealous of, fit their status. The basic differences in our dating styles are that men happen to be strong visual creatures while women have intense emotional perceptions, often clashing with each other. Honesty initially often falls to the wayside when you have that need to impress the opposite sex.
With the world and rapid advancements in our progress, aspects of dating have changed. From the simple glance across the room, a chance meeting in the streets or a drink after work, dating has altered to becoming a virtual online encounter. Now you have to give an initial impression by writing descriptive verses explaining who you are as a person and what you’re looking for in a date. Online chats have replaced personal telephone conversations. Impersonal, offering more opportunities to play games, give falsehoods and deceive someone. I remember one man I met after of course believing his written profile. I realized immediately he was someone who’d given several important falsehoods about himself. When I asked him why even bother looking for a relationship, he replied, “I get to go out on a lot of dates.” My thoughts were, “I’m sure they’re only first dates, no second ones.” A matter of desperation or loneliness, I’m not sure.
Dating has become a big business, from dating websites to matchmakers, even to phenomenon colognes and perfumes, promising their scents will attract that special person. Three minute lunch dates are available for instant gratification or immediate rejection. We tend to be more selective in finding that perfect mate now. Can the rise in divorce rates be due to our desire for acquiring perfection in a mate? If someone’s no longer what you need in your life, people break-up, divorce, and go dive back into the dating whirlpool again.
Does the matter of a person’s age alter how we act when it comes to dating? When I was divorced at forty after a long term marriage I thought I’d find mature men who were ready to settle down. I found myself meeting forty plus men who still played immature teenage games. Is this juvenile behavior the basic nature of an advanced cave man? Speaking about age, some men tend to date women so much younger than them, whether for a renewed sense of youthfulness or just to have beautiful companionship on their arms, I’m not sure. Women, cougars, also seek out younger men, for attention, training, or more energetic companionship than an older couch potato.
Women have lives outside of their homes now, working in the trenches alongside men. Some are involved in playing so-called male dating games. Is this because women no longer need to rely on men for survival? It’s no longer imperative to be seen in a relationship and independence isn’t seen as a negative image. Dating standards are raised in many women’s minds, dating just for companionship isn’t a necessity.
“Friends plus.” A term used to refer to having intimate relations with a friend with no strings attached, along with dating just for sex, or having one-nighters. This crosses into both sexes. Have you seen, “Jersey Shore?” A show with young people having sex just for the fun of it, no strings attached, no relationship needed. There are other television dating shows with males and females expecting quick gratification. Have so called guidelines for dating changed. Has human nature changed?
The young have raging hormones and the need to conquest and flee, while the elderly seek companionship and friendship, maybe a truer definition of love. Do we date because of that constant primal urge to mate, or do we date because of man’s constant feeling of loneliness? In today’s fast paced world do humans really have an innate urge to seek a long term soul mate? The theme of romantic love is still out there, but is this being produced for women’s dreams only? Romance novels and movies feed our fantasies,
The subject of dating and the continued urge to mate still offers no defined answers to wrap up our human need to co-exist together on this planet.