From the moment girls become teenagers their minds seem to be plagued with the question, “Why doesn’t he understand me?”
The answer to this mysterious question that drives teen girls insane is: because.
“Are you serious?”
…as a heart attack.
I suppose a more accurate expression of teenage female angst would be, “Why doesn’t he understand me? And why does he act like he is all about me one minute, while he’s blowing me off the next? Doesn’t he know how much I love him?”
Let’s break this down in simple parts.
“Why doesn’t he understand me?”
First of all, he doesn’t understand you because he isn’t a girl. The male and female minds are wired differently due in great part to our hormones. No amount of cheesy bubblegum pop music or violence-laden rap marketed to teen youth will change that. Nor will this biological fact change because of some stupid Facebook page that has been “liked” by a million teenage girls. I don’t care if one gazillion 12 through 23 year old females likes a Facebook page titled “The More I Suffer, The More That Shows I Love Him” or some other such nonsense. That won’t change the fact that he just isn’t that into you or he’s only into you when it’s convenient for him because he’s driven by his specific biology: ie the uncontrollable urge to have sex.
“Why does he act like he is all about me one minute, while he’s blowing me off the next?
The answer to this question has nothing to do with you (the young woman) and everything to do with him and what he wanted from you or how he feels about himself and his place in the world in the first place. The more testosterone is coursing through a young man’s veins the more driven he will be to attempt to quell a near insatiable hunger to have sex. This biological fact does not diminish a young woman’s worth or value in the least. If young women would understand that this male behavior is about the young men, those young women would have a lot more free time to think about important things like themselves.
Clearly, most normal healthy young men want to have sex every opportunity they can (and even when they can’t). The fact that any or many young (or old) men want to have sex with any (young) woman is not a feather in her cap as men value physical beauty above all else. It is by virtue of this fact that young women would be served best if they would stop obsessing over “some guy” who desires to bed them and obsess more about what they, themselves want out of life. Focus on your education, fitness, etc, doing what you need to do in order to achieve your specific dreams. It doesn’t matter how much you think you love him and he loves you, life will prove out that putting your dreams about what you want for yourself in the back seat for what you think you want for him or for what you think you both want for the two of you will be one of the biggest mistakes you could ever make in your entire life.
“Doesn’t he know how much I love him?”
How you feel towards him has nothing to do with how he will behave towards you. (Reread this sentence about one thousand times until it sinks in.)
This is one of the hardest parts of being a teenage girl/young woman. You can’t change him. You can’t save him. You can’t fix him. Too many young women (and grown women) expend most of their energy defining who they are by whom it is that they are coupled with. Every female would be best served by focusing, instead on defining themselves by their own accomplishments independent of who they are dating/married to.
All of this is so simple really. But the rush of hormones screws up even the most even-minded kid (both male and female alike). And you can trust that as nature has been robbing me of my hormones, I have been reminded exactly what this feels like so I know exactly what I’m talking about.