I work with my fiance landscaping when he’s home from the oil rig. Well, work as in, “I’m going to sleep in the truck while you fix that sprinkler head, sweetie.”
This last week, we were blowing out sprinkler lines, which requires hooking an air compressor to the main pump (or sprinkler well), opening up a random sprinkler valve to reduce pressure, and blowing out water from the sprinkler stations one by one. I’m the sprinkler clock lady. I can program and utilize any style sprinkler clock I come across, and basically just watch my fiance hook up everything else and wait for the go-ahead to fiddle with the clock and get the stations going.
Burger King was one of our stops. I opted to sit in the truck since the main well was right by the drivethru and people kept staring at my fiance as he hooked the air compressor up. I saw him look inside the main shut off valve thingy- and then retch into it. WTF?! Why is my fiance puking on the job? I thought I must have saw something move in front of his face- then he threw the valve box lid aside and retched like mad all over the grass!
Laughing my fool head off (my fiance pukes and gags- a lot) I ran out of the truck to see what was so gross. And then the stench hit me. It smelled like SHIT, actual shit, and sulfur, and basically smelled like a rotting ass just right at the main pump. “WTF is that smell?!” I asked. My gagging fiance just pointed. “Those idiots are dumping their grease in the sprinkler system!” my fiance retched. I looked- and in the sprinkler well was a huge grayish white puddle of grease, right over the valves and pipes we needed, and it was emitting the most atrocious odor.
In fact, the very ground I was standing on was saturated and slick with muddy, rotting grease, and right in front of the dumpsters was a deep puddle of white, thick, odorous grease as well. I looked behind me, and the back door to the kitchen was right there, and the sidewalk going around the building to the front was slick with grease. Oh, my freakin goodness, it was so gross! What, the employees can’t walk 2 extra feet with their barrels to the dumpsters?!
What’s worse is that the particular sprinkler well has 2 lines- one for the sprinkler system, and one, you guessed it, right into the main water for the building itself. To drink in your soda. To wash your hands with. Yes, it’s designed not to cross-contaminate, but my fiance said improper pressure like being unable to access the valves because they are covered in GREASE can cause contamination to occur. As it was, he had to use a backup shut off valve to turn off the water to begin with, because the main one was so thick and slick with grease, he couldn’t get to it.
My fiance bitched out the store manager good, as even as we were blowing the lines the stench of rotting sulfurous grease permeated the air. He warned her that her “lazy ass, mother f**king crew” needed to quit dumping their shit in the sprinkler well, or else the store would risk contamination. Even I understood this concept. The manager muttered some vague response in broken English, so then my fiance chewed her ass out in Spanish (and I believe a bit of Italian, too, the way his hands were moving).
It was the nastiest thing I had ever seen, and I’ve trudged through silage and cow shit (and had my arms up numerous cows’ vaginas). I can’t believe the complete waste just inches from the drivethru and just around the corner from the restaurant’s side door. Kids could run onto that grass and slip in that shit. I can’t believe people going through the drivethru can’t see or smell it. Needless to say, after we were done working and got back in the truck (smelling like the world’s hugest fart) and my fiance jokingly asked if I wanted a burger, I said, “Hell no- let’s get the f**k outta here!”
note: just before Burger King, we blew the sprinklers at Jack in the Box right across the street. And even though their sprinkler clock was on the wall right above the dumpsters and there were 3 huge barrels full of grease just under my nose, their dumpster and back door area was clean enough that I could hardly smell anything more than hot ketchup, so BK was just lazy and disgusting in comparison. Good job, Jack in the Crack!
another note: unfortunately, one Burger King ruined me for all of them. But if you ever travel through Burley Idaho, pass this BK by for sure, especially if this experience didn’t turn you off of all of them entirely. (I actually hope it didn’t- BK is one of my fave fast food restaurants, or at least, it WAS.)