Recently, there has been a rash of celebrity cheating “scandals” casting a tsunami wave of female angst and outrage across the globe: Jessie James and Sandra Bullock; Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegrin; Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. I mean even pastors, priests and politicians are cheating – NO mortal man seems to be immune.
So what’s going on? What’s wrong with men? Disgusted women around the globe are now setting out on a quest – in search of their Holy Grail – to finally answer the age-old question: Why men cheat?
In order to answer this question – once-and-for-all – women must understand the simplistic mind of a man. And in order to do that, there are two things you must do to embrace the truth.
First off, for the record, I’ve never cheated on my wife – believe it or not. I’m just very honest about feelings and don’t believe in sugar-coating the truth of life’s realities. Next, you must replace the term “cheating” with “having sex”, because that’s exactly what cheating is – it’s just sex for men. Then, you must clear your mind of everything you’ve ever heard from the psycho-babbling, over-educated talking heads you listen to on Oprah or The View. The answer to this question doesn’t require a PHD – just honesty and common sense.
So now for the million-dollar question: Why do men cheat?
Here’s the 2 million-dollar answer:
So, that’s it? Well, allow me to break this down further, so that you can truly understand the sheer simplicity of it all.
Part one: Desire.
Men are males. As much as some women refuse to believe, we men are MALES. So what exactly does that mean? Simple, being a MALE means that we are predisposed to certain innate behaviors that are IMPOSSIBLE to physically control as it goes completely against the natural grain of genetics – yes, genetics.
You see males have a powerful hormone called testosterone. You might’ve heard of it. It’s what makes men, males. So if you’re gay, straight, married, single, a priest, pastor or politician, when testosterone kicks in, there’s really not much you can do to fight or fool Mother Nature. And you know what they say, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.”
Seriously, my point is that testosterone controls men’s sex drive – remember, “cheat” equals “sex”. We can’t help it when a woman walks into a room and our nature – excuse me – “rises”. We can’t help it if the scent of a woman drives us to want to “scratch an itch”. We can’t help it if we’re with our wives and another attractive woman walks into the room and our attention focuses on her hind quarters. We CAN’T help it – we’re males. It’s nature.
We can’t help it anymore than women can stop having periods. So it is what it is. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. A truer statement has never been made.
Part two: Opportunity
Simply, there is an endless supply of narcissistic and self-deprecating females, who will gladly make themselves available to allow men the opportunity to have sex with them, even though they fully know they’re in a committed relationship.
If there weren’t SO many of these weak-minded women – with obvious emotional issues – willing to have sex with these men, then there’d be FAR fewer opportunities for men to “cheat”. Remember, in order to “cheat”, you need a willing partner.
Today, we see far more instances of marital infidelity than ever before. That’s because we now have a very powerful media that seems to reward promiscuity and promote narcissism. Look at all the white trash on reality TV who will sink to any depth just to be on television. They get piss drunk, eat feces, sell their soul, risk life and limb and even have sex on national television. But why?
Well it’s not rocket science people. They simply do it because they CRAVE attention. They “cheat” with married men because they CRAVE attention. These are troubled women with deep-rooted issues. They need help, not a reality show.
But this only explains the desire and opportunity. Why exactly do men betray the trust of a woman they claim to “love”?
Well you see, sex is primarily a physical act for men, not an emotional one. Unlike women, sex doesn’t represent “LOVE” for us. Love for men is different. Love is when we take the time to stop and invest emotional time – because we really have to work at it. We only tend to reserve that kind of investment for our wives and family.
We do that by performing acts of kindness, caring and showing respect, but the act of “making LOVE” – having sex that is – is NOT one of those acts. So when we have sex with our wives, it’s not because we love them, it’s because we’re horny. And when men cheat with other women, they’re not in love with those women, they’re just horny – testosterone. It may turn into LOVE over time, but it initially happens because they’re horny. Any cheating man who denies this is a liar.
Unlike most women, men have the innate ability to separate LOVE and SEX – again genetics. We just don’t associate sex with love. Men can have sex with multiple partners, but only LOVE one. That’s why most – not all -men who “cheat”, don’t cheat with the intention of breaking-up with their wives, they just wanted some sex – that’s it. Now that’s something women simply refuse to believe – and most wives will rightfully reject – but it’s nonetheless true.
Women on the other hand – for the most part – don’t think of sex in this manner. Why? Again, hormones, genetics. Now there are some women who truly believe they can think like men, but somewhere along the line they eventually realize they were mistaken and give into their genetic, emotional predisposition - it’s also in their genes.
OK, but I still don’t understand. If men are horny, why don’t they just have sex with their wives?
Society expects men to be on a strict sexual diet once they get married. Ladies, just think of it this way. What if you were expected to eat only meat, every day – no chocolate – for the REST OF YOUR LIFE? Noble thought, but realistically – sooner or later – you’re going to want a Hershey bar. You know just one minor “sweet” change in the menu – just to break up the monotony.
What’s the problem? Does that mean you’re going to stop eating meat altogether just to have a chocolate kiss? Sounds ridiculous, right? But if you apply the same rules here – as society does to sex – then you’d have to give up meat for chocolate FOREVER, because it’s “cheating”.
So whether you’re having lots of sex with your wife, or no sex at all, it doesn’t matter. Males are simply not built for monogamy. We fight genetics to conform, but it’s not innate for us to be in a life-long committed SEXUAL relationship with one partner. It’s sad but true.
Wait a minute! C’mon! But how could ANY man EVER cheat on someone like Halle Berry? She’s just so gorgeous and sweet. She’s the PERFECT woman. Explain that.
Ugh! Aren’t you listening? It doesn’t matter. GENETICS! Didn’t you see “When Harry Met Sally”? When Harry is explaining to Sally why men and women cannot be friends because “sex” eventually gets in the way. (Which BTW is 100% true) Sally asks, “…And what about the ugly ones?” Harry, “You pretty much wanna bang ’em too”. It’s the same thing here. It doesn’t matter to men – blind, cripple or crazy – females equal sex.
So for men it doesn’t matter if you’re married to Halle Berry or Shrek, men will sooner or later WANT to have sex with another person. It’s not about beauty, or personality. It’s simply about 4-million years of genetic evolution. That’s a battle EVERY man valiantly fights – some better than others – but NO man can win.
At the end of the day – whether or not a man actually “cheats” – just comes down to whether or not the right opportunity ever presents itself. The right opportunity means different things for all men. But when it does show up, he’s a goner. And as I’ve just detailed, for the rich and famous the opportunities are ABUNDANT.
So cut some of these celebrities a break. Yes some of them are A-holes – no excuse – but Sandra knew what she was getting into when she hooked-up with a known player. Elin and Eva married athletes, full well knowing they’d be away from home for months at a time. Are you serious? In my book, the women they “cheat” with are actually far worse than these guys. These are men fighting genetics, but these women are just narcissists.
Remember: DESIRE – which we cannot control – and OPPORTUNITY – which we can only avoid. When the two meet, then that’s when men cheat.