I remember the insane frenzy that was spurred by a 17-year-old girl who came out of nowhere with her exposed stomach and catchy “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. Britney Spears had arrived, and was literally a household name in most homes even before her album hit the shelves.
Enter her controversial Rolling Stones front photo shoot before she was even legal, and this gal was a sexpot before she had even hit her 18th birthday. Her music was prevalent on all the pop charts, her “Oops I Did it Again” so overplayed even the old timers knew the lyrics.
Somewhere along the way this pop “icon” (she appeared to be at the time, now I wouldn’t go so far as to even attempt to say that) hit a complete standstill. How does this happen? How did Britney Spears go from being adorably sexy American pop star to white trash crazy mom?
We’ve seen her do all sorts of crazy things- she shaved her head (spurring speculation that she shaved her head so she could provide clean hair follicle results to claim custody of her 2 children), we’ve seen her attack paparazzi with an umbrella (smacking gum y’all), we’ve seen pics of her blazing about in her car with her unrestrained baby in her lap, spawning the white trash mom title.
Hell, we’ve even seen her coochie by now — and we are thrilled to see her hit the media in whatever sick form it entails, but will we ever let her hit the top musically again?
Apparently not. Remember her debut performance of “Gimme More” where she basically wandered around in a leotard-looking thing with her flesh hanging out, looking as if she didn’t quite know where she was? Rather than praise Ms. Spears for her efforts, even her most die hard fans criticized her for looking fat and sluggish on stage. We continue to follow her in the tabloids, mainly getting pics of her in her typical short shorts and tank tops and flip flops, sucking down on yet another Starbucks beverage of some sort.
Will we ever allow her a musical comeback? Or can she never quite regain her snake-wearing, stomach bearing, lip syncing, catchy wonder that she used to hold so boldly? Is she just washed up now? A mother wanting to be young and famous again and always just barely missing the boat (“Hey, wait for me, y’all!”).
What we can give Britney Spears her due for is that she is probably one of the most longest-lasting flash in the pans I have ever seen. I mean, she held her own from like 1998 to about 2005, and yes, it all went downhill from there but she had a nearly 10-year run. Not bad for a flabby pop star who has likely never sung live a single performance (if she has, I missed it- must have been an iconic moment).
So my hat goes off to you, Ms. Britney Spears. You’ve managed to stay in the tabloids without an album in sight, gained a fan base even after flashing your crotch and shaving your head, and even managed to pump out a few generic songs over the last few years. Hey, I even have “You Wanna Piece of Me” as one of my ring tones, and it’s my fave Britney Spears songs so far.
I really hope she gets her act together, gets the paparazzi to get some more flattering viewage of her, and I hope she really works at cranking out a mature album for her age, and her aging fans. We’re still out there- we just need to be dusted off with some new material. I truly think Britney Spears, all said and done, could come back again after reinventing herself big time (not the sub par “I smoke now, y’all!” reinventions that do her no favors). If anyone could make it on top again, I would say it would be the former pop star that we all love to love and love to go “Huh?” to- and Britney Spears, if she played her cards right, could really make music again and take over the charts.