1….your main goal for the day is to take a shower.
2….you finally get some food for yourself and you are so overjoyed, yet….you don’t really know what to do with it.
3….you are waiting for your kids to go to bed so you can finally eat that cookie you’ve been longing for.
4…. you don’t know what it is like to go to the bathroom by yourself anymore.
5…. you develop cat-like reflexes and frequently surprise yourself on your precise speed and agility. “Yeah, knife! Drop! I’ll snatch you right out of the air without a single mark!”
6….talk about poop, barf, boogies, or snot doesn’t affect your appetite at all.
7….you say something you thought you’d never say. “Don’t you put your face in that toilet!”
8….you develop a look that scares your child into obedience.
9….somehow, you now have 4 extra arms; your mouth, butt/hips, and each leg.
10….you smell a poopy diaper, and even though there are tons of kids around, you know if it’s your child or not.
11….you are scared to death of spiders, but when you see one with you kid around, you smile and calmly take care of it. (And of course, squirm and gag when you are around the corner.)
12…. you schedule your day around poopy diapers, school, snacks, games, and naps.
13…. almost everything in your purse is child orientated.
14….you go to the store looking tired and disheveled, but your children are perfectly clean, wearing the cutest outfits.
15…. the kids are not there, and you have to turn the TV or radio up because you are not used to the quiet.
16…. you catch yourself saying “blankie”, “daddy”, “mommy”, or “potty” in an adult conversations.
17…. you have literally caught vomit.
18…. you have cleaned pee from anything and everything you can think of.
19….it’s not weird to you to yank open a diaper and take a giant sniff to see if it’s poopy or not.
20…. you have learned more Spanish from watching Dora then you’ve learned anywhere else.
21…. Daddy watches the kids for a while, and when you talk to him on the phone, you ask if your kid had a poopy diaper. If the answer if yes, you proceed to ask how much was there.
22…. everything you eat is picked at by every other child in the room.
23…. you are at the bar or club and find yourself humming a Nick Jr. song.
24…. you can clean up you house faster then anyone without children, WHILE holding a kid and talking on the phone.
25…. you are hungry and want a snack, and you go get a bag of fruit snacks.
26….you can quote all of Cars or Toy Story…..even when it’s not on.
27….you spend 30 minutes packing just so you can leave the house for an hour.
28….any child says “MOM!” and you instinctively look.
29….you are the only the one who understands what your baby and/or toddler just said.
30. You know you are a mom when when you look at your babies and out of unexplainable love, your heart actually aches!