“Modern Family” is one of the best shows on TV right now and it hasn’t slowed down in its sophomore season, the show just keeps getting funnier. The Show is brilliantly written, directed and ACTED. There isn’t one weak link in the show and this list could easily be the top 100 funniest lines of “Modern Family”.
#10 – This quote comes from Episode 21: “Travels With Scout” where Cam is telling Haley’s teenage boyfriend Dylan he can play drums for his band last minute, when the bands normal drummer suddenly moves to another state.
Dylan: I don’t think we’d like the same music.
Cam: Because I’m gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: No, because you’re old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.
#9 – Quote from Episode 4: “The Incident” Mitchell is trying to tell his dad that his mom (his dad’s ex wife is in town and wants to come to dinner).
Jay: What’s up!
Mitchell: Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town.
Jay: Your mom?
Mitchell: No, no your mom. She’s back from the grave. Yes, yes my mom, dad.
Jay: My mom would be less scary
#8 – Quote from Episode 19 “Game Changer” Jay is talking to Gloria and as always makes fun of Columbia, where she is from.
Jay(want to teach Manny Chess using his new set her just got): I’m going to teach him the real version, not the Colombian version. We actually use the pieces to play the game, not smuggle stuff out of the country.
#7 – Quote from Episode 12: “Not in my House” Claire finds porn on the computer and blames Luke and wants Phil to talk to him. Phil is the actual perpetrator but doesn’t want to get in trouble so he goes with blaming Luke. Claire and Phil look at the picture on the computer.
Phil: That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.
#6 – Quote from Episode 10: “Undeck the Halls”, Jay is frustrated by all of the Columbian traditions Gloria and Manny are trying to push on Jay. Jay wants to have his traditions like every year and is talking to Mitchell about it.
Mitchell: Still keeping traditions alive, huh?
Jay: Someone has to. I got two Colombians at home trying to turn Christmas into Cinco de Mayo.
Mitchell: You know that’s Mexican right?
Jay: Ahh. Burrito, burr-righto.
#5 – Quote from Jay in Episode 6: “Run for your Wife” Manny comes out with a poncho on and looks ridiculous for his first day of school. Jay is trying to tell him he is going to be made fun of but Gloria doesn’t see the problem with Manny wearing the outfit.
Manny: How’s my hair?
Jay: Hold on, what are you wearing there? That looks like an old Christmas tree skirt
Manny: It’s a traditional Colombian poncho, I want my new classmates to know I’m proud of my heritage
Gloria: I think you look very handsome, lindo!
Jay: Oh really? Am I driving him to school or is he going to ride his burro?
#4 – Quote from Episode 4: “The Incident” Phil is trying to talk to Haley about the argument she had with her mom and why she couldn’t go to a concert.
Haley: Okay, mom just doesn’t trust me and it’s not fair.
Phil: She trusts you; it’s just the weird stuff that happens at concerts. Boys get urges.
Haley: Eww! Dad, is there something you want?
Phil: Yes, there is., to connect with this girl right here. Now come on, pretend I’m not your dad. We’re just a couple of friends kickin’ it in a juice bar.
Haley: What’s a juice bar?
Phil: Okay a malt shop, whatever.
Haley: Dad, I don’t…
Phil: No, who’s dad, who’s dad? I’m Marcus, from Biology. Hey Haley! How’s it going with you and Dylan? Does he try anything inappropriate with you, girl?
#3 – Quote from Episode 20: “Benched” Claire and Alex spent the day shopping and Alex was trying not to be seen with her mother. Then Alex has a moment with her mother where Claire thinks they are really connecting, she suddenly realizes Alex just wants some money so she can go hang out with her friends and avoid her mom some more.
Claire: Alex, honey, when you’re out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don’t need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten! That will teach her to screw with me!
#2 – Quote from Episode 9: “Fizbo” Claire has setup a comb sheath making table for Luke’s birthday party and Phil comes over to ask how it’s going.
Phil [to Claire]: Let me know if you run low on supplies, I’ll take a quick trip to the 1950s for you.
#1 – Quote from Episode 9: “Fizbo” possibly the best episode of the entire series so far. Cameron is explaining the types of clowns there are and what kind of clown he is, Mitchell hates Cameron’s clown outfit.
Cameron: If I wasn’t in school or fishing, I was clowning. There are four types of clowns: a tramp, Auguste, a whiteface, and a character. I am a classically trained Auguste clown named Fizbo.
Mitchell: Between the clowning and the fishing, I’m surprised you had time for the schooling(Cameron frowns). Aww, there’s the fifth type, the sad clown.
Cameron: A sad clown is a tramp.. so there’s still only four types.
“Modern Family” is one of the funniest shows on TV and if you haven’t watched an episode yet it’s ok you can start anytime and in no time you will be a fan and probably be telling friends your favorite quotes from the show! Make sure you check out “Modern Family” on ABC Wednesdays 9 pm ET.