Passive aggressive personality disorder can manifest itself differently according to the situation but ten of the most commonly used techniques by passive aggressive parents on their children are:
1: Do as I say not as I do- Passive aggressive parents often have some serious issues with being very hypocritical, they will often over react one of their rules even if they themselves do not follow them. An example of this would be punishing a child for smoking a cigarette when they are chain smokers.
2:Oh I’m sorry honey, I forgot, I’ll get it next time-A parent who suffers from being passive aggressive will often punish the child for an offense done earlier on by “forgetting” to get something the child needs or wants, often after they promise they will pick up the item.
3:I don’t have to do it because I’m the Adult – Similar to their hypocritical nature, the passive aggressive parent thinks that the rules apply to everyone but themselves and will become very upset when asked why they themselves don’t get things done in the time they said they would or when they openly disregard an established rule.
4: I wouldn’t have done it if you had just done as I told you to– The parent can never admit that they are wrong and when faced with what they have done it is often the child’s fault. They pass off the blame of losing their job because the child kept them up late a few nights and that explained their poor performance.
5: Oh no, I’m not mad *smiles*– it is impossible to gauge if a passive aggressive parent is upset by a child’s action, they have been trained since birth to not show negative emotion. This makes it impossible for the child to know what he or she has done wrong and causes an untold amount of stress.
6: Tears are their job well done– Often times the passive aggressive parent will not stop “forgetting” or blaming things on the child until the child gives in and falls apart over guilt. This only proves to them that they were right all along.
7: Just one happy family– Because the passive aggressive cannot show their own anger, they force their children to do the same. This leads to the child developing their own internal emotional problems and ultimately causes damage for years.
8: Cutting you with a smile– Parents who suffer from this disorder are the child’s best friends one min and in the same breath they tell the child how stupid they are, how bad they do everything.
9: Always at arms length– The passive aggressive cannot trust anyone for fear of letting them know to much and as such never allows their child to attach and open up the way they need to.
10: I only do this because I love you– Because they do not trust their children they harp on very action the child takes, finding something wrong in every friend and something demeaning in every outing.