Dating in college isn’t that much different than doing it anywhere else. Of course, you can expect students to be a bit safer to date than the average biker, rock musician or street gang member.
However, if you’re a young woman student, and you want to enlist in the battle of the more-educated sexes, you should consider some important points of personal safety. Of course, the same can also be applied to the lucky guy who’s asked by one or more women students for a date. For the sake of brevity, this advice is directed to the woman student.
1. Know the guy you’re dating before your first time out with him. If he’s a student at the same college, you can easily check with his friends and class associates, look up his background and other personal information.
2. Don’t be afraid to do face-to-face questioning. When he first asks you for a date, you can bring up anything you choose. By listening closely to his way of speaking to you, then put together all the information and decide whether it is safe to accept his offer.
3. On your first date or two, keep the relationship impersonal. By your actions, earn his respect. If you begin to develop mutual trust, easy conversations and similar ideas, then you must be the one to decide if you want to go on to a deeper relationship.
4. When the relationship begins to develop and you decide to continue dating, pay close attention to his attitudes, language, dealings with other people, personal habits, drinking, drugs and other factors. If anything about him could be considered unsafe or incompatible to your way of life, end the relationship before it becomes uncomfortable for you.
5. If, after several dates, the way he treats you becomes less respectful, consider your options. If you feel frightened or suspicious about his behavior for any reason on the first date or any later ones, quickly break off future dating with the guy.
6. On dates, especially for the first time with a guy, drink very modestly. If you’re underage, don’t drink at all. If he drinks excessively and/or insists that you drink too much, it’s time to break off the relationship, especially if he drives after drinking.
7. If you don’t trust the guy, don’t get yourself into one-on-one late night or overnight situations where escape may be difficult. For example: If you’re at a dance or meeting at a hotel, don’t go to his room. Additionally, if you don’t agree to be there, don’t find yourself parked in a remote spot with him.
8. Until you agree to a deeper relationship, keep your options open on intimacy. The consequences of a one-night stand of unprotected sex for a woman college student can result in loss of self-respect and personal shame. More painful could be the destruction of future plans for a meaningful career or marriage.
9. If the dating relationship evolves into intimacy, and you do intend to have a meaningful life and career after college, always use protection.
10. No matter what relationship develops from dating one or more guys as a college student, always remember the reason you’re getting that higher education. You’re in college to earn a degree and create a bright future.