Scope it, as in Horoscope: You will be subjected to so much early testing that you will be healthly as, well, no you won’t. It will be too early to tell anything.
Bonehead Tip of the Day: Next time you hear someone brag that it really is “a no-brainer” tell them to explain that. Then say, “no, it’s a brainer.” I’ve never heard someone say “it’s a brainer” so write down the reaction.
Trivia: The term “U.S.” wasn’t used much before 1812. And when Sam Wilson supplied meat to soldiers during the War of 1812, he stamped “U.S.” on the crates. When people asked what the “U.S.” stood for they said, “Uncle Sam.” When Richard Halliburton swam the Panama Canal, he got wet. Yes, he did indeed. He also was charged 36 cents for the toll. Meanwhile, when he was alive, Ernest Crocker could discriminate between more than 9,000 odors. Now that he’s dead, not so much. In the Caribbean, some oysters can climb trees. Either that or the people who report such things are drinking too much rum. Let’s move on, shall we? One sea superstition has it that a naked woman aboard a ship calms the water. Not on my boat.
The List: Some winners from CMA Awards.
Entertainer of the Year: Brad Paisley
Female Vocalist: Miranda Lambert
Male Vocalist: Blake Shelton
Single of the Year: “Need You Now,” Lady Antebellum
Album of the Year: “Revolution,” Miranda Lambert
Song of the Year: “The House That Built Me,” Miranda Lambert
New Artist: Zac Brown Band
Vocal Group: Lady Antebellum
Vocal Duo: Sugarland
Source: ABC TV
NOTES: Paltrow gets a standing ovation from Nashville crowd. Upcoming wedding with Shelton and Lambert may be anti-climatic now. Still trying to figure out Kid Rock. I do not get it. Brooks and Dunn retire quietly. They could easily knock an hour off the show if they wanted. Technology can get in the way with all those screens in the background. Just note the Grammys. For the first time, it seemed like George Strait was out of place. Wow. The wardrobe for Keith Urban is pretty easy to maintain, I’m guessing. Reba has such a commanding presence.
Closer: Thank a veteran. It’s really easy to do. I salute you all.