With millions of parents likely searching for Similac recall information, Similac.com is being bombarded with tons of extra traffic making it virtually impossible to get the page to load. This huge surge in site traffic is due to the creepy Similac recall, announced just in time to scare parents silly before Halloween even starts: bug parts in the baby formula!
Up to five million containers of Similac baby formula have been recalled in the U.S. and outlying areas. For more information on affected lines, batches and lots, call the number for Similac and Abbot Laboratories at the bottom of this article. (But don’t skip the middle. That’s totally cheating and we’ll find out. We always find out.)
2010 Similac Recall Info Here
The new 2010 Similac recall was initiated voluntarily by Abbott Laboratories Wednesday due to possible contamination by beetles, bits of beetles or beetle larvae. The U.S. is affected, as is Puerto Rico and Guam. Some now-recalled product may have been distributed even further.
Of course, out of a perfectly reasonable abundance of caution, the five million units of Similac baby formula are being recalled and destroyed. Sales of possibly contaminated product have halted. However, the FDA agrees that besides being gross, for the most part, beetles pose little to no threat to humans even when ingested.
Remember, Moms: Only in the rarest of circumstances has a woman’s breastmilk ever been recalled for beetle contamination. When medically possible and practical, the new 2010 Similac recall proves yet again that breast is best! When breastfeeding isn’t an option, you can still trust Similac. However, might we suggest a small kitchen strainer to tackle those pesky legs, wings and antenna?
The Great 2010 Similac Recall: Designer Baby Formula, Now With More Protein!
Rather than freak everyone about about yet another recall, why don’t we just go with this one and maybe turn a buck? We could sell it as “Bits O’ Beetles: Now With More Natural Bug Protein!”….stock it in hippy-dippy shops in Northern California or Portland for $25 a container, and watch the cash roll in as all the ‘cool’ parents begin feeding their child over-priced insects for lunch.
The great Similac recall of 2010 could help save the American economy on the backs of a few thousand easily-led rich people. Five million units of insect-laden formula? We can’t just let that go to waste.
Hey, I have an even better idea. Let’s quietly pass the recalled Similac formula on to waitresses and servers throughout the country, and make it a federal law that it can be used in place of requested dairy items for any customer who is either a dick, or presents the smallest threat of becoming a dick. Either way, they get “beetle-juiced”.
(I’m just saying. Lemons out of lemonade, you know? Hey, why does the lemonade smell funny? Now that’s just going too far…)
To contact Abbott Laboratories and Similac with any recalled baby formula concerns you may have, call (800) 986-8850. You can also visit similac.com once site traffic subsides a bit.
CNN “5 Million Cans of Similac Recalled…”