Sadly in today’s world, the word “cheat” is more common than we would like it to be. In fact, it is so prevalent that some unhappy couples use the word on a daily basis to accuse and downgrade their husband or wife. Some wield the word like a sword, a weapon, to slash and tear at their mate’s heart – only eventually leading that pained mate to do exactly what the word implies.
But did you know that you can actually do some things that can help your mate out? Sadly, imperfections and fleshly desires all come with the human body and mind. But, we are assured that we can keep our stand over these things and remain happy and faithful to the person we said those divine vows to. But because the two of you are “one flesh”, and you need one another’s support, there are positive things you can do to help your spouse out.
Compromise. This is a big and powerful word in a marriage, because good marriages thrive on this. What does it involve? It involves giving in, to a reasonable degree, to the wholesome things your mate would like to do. And your mate, in turn, will do this for you. It has an equalizing force in the end, and in the end the both of you will end up getting what you want anyway! It is, in a sense, a less-selfish selfishness. An example could be this: One Thursday night the two of you are discussing what you will do on Friday night. One of you wants to go see that new movie at the movie theater and then go to the roller skating rink afterward, while the other one of you would prefer to stay home with a bottle of wine and watch a great movie on the television. This discussion could easily escalate into an argument, and accusations could be thrown around, and in the end the two of you could be looking at one another in a very bad way. But what if you used a little compromise in there? Even if you hate roller skating, why not go this Friday just because you know your mate loves it? And how happy your mate would be if you did go! And because you gave in to that, then your mate has to give in to the compromise which means next Friday the two of you do what you want to do. It’s a simple and easy example, and it really works in every avenue.
Respect. This is one of the biggest things that are needed in a marriage, and in any relationship. The husband, especially, needs to feel from you this respect – because he is the head of the family. A man actually thrives on this feeling. And he needs to see it through all of the woman’s actions including in the way she talks to him and whether she obeys the things he needs done. The woman, too, thrives on this from her husband. In fact, the Bible describes the woman as “the weaker vessel” and the man is to treat her as such – in the way he talks to her, treats her, and even talks about her when she’s not around.
Commendation. What human being doesn’t love commendation? And in a marriage, it is oh-so-necessary. Even if you don’t necessarily feel your mate did that great of a job on something, commend them anyway. If you feel yourself wanting to criticize or counsel them on a job they’ve done, you can do that gently… but only after you commend them first for their efforts. A husband needs commendation from his wife on a regular basis – and it can be done in many ways including verbally (‘honey, I really appreciate the hard work you’re doing in providing for us’), physically (give him a back rub “just because”!), and emotionally (listen intently how his day went, and have gentle things to say to him). The same goes for a wife – she needs commendation from her husband. In fact, she thrives on it. Telling your wife that she is beautiful (physically or mentally) goes a long way, or simply telling her how much you enjoyed the meal she prepared can make her heart swell… and make her work even more diligently for the family.
You see, these are three simple steps that can get the two of you going on the right path… and can avoid mishaps in the marriage that can lead to major problems. The fact is, you need each other in every way you can imagine. So don’t leave your mate hanging by a thread, but do your part to reach out, bind up, and reinforce the ropes that bind your marriage together!