Most parents would agree that there are more than 5 ways that life changes after having children. Some of them are small and seemingly insignificant while others are enormous and obvious to everyone. Whatever the case may be, those changes occur as a result of a series of life changing moments that come with parenting. Below are the top 5 ways that my life changed after having my child.
I had someone to answer to. Before I decided to become a mother, I did what I wanted, when I wanted to. I wasn’t concerned about taking too many chances or how my actions had an impact on others. As a mother, I realized that if something happened to me, my son wouldn’t have a mother. So, I slowed down and started thinking of him first before making a decision to do anything. I became engrossed in self help, positive life experiences and parenting.
I learned to appreciate the “firsts” in life. For instance, though I love the feel of grass under my feet, it wasn’t until my son’s toes touched the soft blades of grass that I learned to appreciate the wonder of sensations that happen for the first time. His first steps taken in a my front yard were just one of the many life changing moments that his existence has offered me. Now, everything he does for the first time is a wonder to me!
Goals came into existence. As a single woman who never thought she would live past 30, I never felt the need to set goals. I was careening toward being a member of the statistical data that is made up of people who lived through multiple types of abuse and decided to drown that out with adrenaline rushes and other things. Parenting changed all that. As a mother, I felt the need to take my life in a distinct direction so that my son could have something to be proud of.
Romantic relationships took on a whole new meaning. Since I’ve been alone with my son for the most part since his birth, romance took a backseat to parenting. Everyone has their own quirks that have to be dealt with. As a woman I can understand that. As a mother, I demand that my son and I both be considered and treated well. It also meant that physical romance needed to be a bit more discreet and pretty much secluded to one room instead of the entire house when my son was home.
I gained a reason to get up in the morning. Though I went through bouts of depression as a lone woman and as a mother, as a mother depression was no longer my master when it took a notion to be. No matter how I feel, I have to get up in the morning and take care of my son. That’s not a bad thing either! When life is really hard, I have to not only get out of bed, but find the silver lining in the day so that my son and I can both get through it with a smile. In short, just looking at my son is a great form of self help for me.
I’ve always been an independent woman. When I think of the changes and life experiences that being a parent has brought to my life, it almost looks as if my son has held me down into a “normal” existence unlike the seemingly care free one I had before he was born. Well, looks can be deceiving. What seemed like a care free existence was actually an existence based on things that didn’t warrant being cared about. In short, my son has given me a daily reason for self help and enjoying those life changing moments that take my breath away so that I can focus on life experiences that actually matter. I couldn’t be more grateful!