Well I flew from Birmingham to Tucson yesterday and I just think that our Plane Operating System , also known as POS, is greatly maligned. I had a wonderful experience and think that the hard working people who make our POS work need to be given some credit.
I see nothing wrong with the security and I welcomed standing in line chatting brightly with my fellow travelers – “Say isn’t this a wonderful country. Aren’t you glad to be alive and living in America. Come on everyone, let’s sing along – How about – God Bless America. I’ll start – and you there in the turban – you join in.”
The TSA people were friendly, and I am so happy to pay taxes so government employees can strip search me. The TSA officer I met was a chipper young lady of about sixty who told me to hold out my hand.
“But I hardly know you,” I said.
She wiped some stuff on my hands to see if there was any bomb making residue on them. She told me that if you use nitrates some residue is left on your hands.
I asked what seemed to be a reasonable question, “Wouldn’t a terrorist simply wear gloves?”.
I was told to move along. The line was held up a bit while they lifted a suspicious looking old lady out of her wheelchair and searched her. Again, I was proud to note what a top notch security force we had. The guy with the turban walked right through. Thank God, we didn’t disrespect his rights by profiling him.
As I was walking to my gate, they were gently lowering granny back into her wheelchair.
We had a very nice flight attendant who told us that if the oxygen masks dropped down to put them over our face and “breathe normally.”
Think about that – that is the best they can do? The plane is going down, you are about to be a charred piece of cinder in some farmer’s field in Iowa, and the best advice they have is “Breathe Normally” ?
What can I say, but my flight to Dallas was uneventful, after the young mother next to me fell asleep, and I duct- taped the baby’s mouth shut. I rather enjoyed the warm can of coke and thought that no one could complain about airline food anymore, because there in NO airline food anymore.
Wait that was wrong. You can buy snack packs for less than it will cost to send your kid to college. It seemed like a wise investment, but I didn’t have the down payment and security deposit they wanted for the snack pack.
Anyway the trip was wonderful, I enjoyed the small aisles and the flight attendants, aka student drivers, who kept crashing the cart into my elbow. I enjoyed the woman next to me who thought it was much more important to tell me her life story than let me read quietly. I behaved and did not say, ” Your life story is about to end, if you don’t shut up.”
I can’t wait to fly back on Monday. Gotta love our POS.