I had spent a late night on Sunday talking with my personal trainer. She spent the evening nagging me about what it was going to take for me to get back on track. . I lost 40 lbs. a while ago and had slowly but surely put it all back on. My worst habits are smoking a pack a day and drinking soda like it is going out of style. I guess most people would have given up on me by now. I know a few times I have almost given up on myself. However I’ve always kept this mental picture of what I want to be tucked away in the back of my head. Anyway, fast forward to later that night. As she was getting ready to go she said, “What would Jillian Michaels say to you?” That was a loaded question I guess because I went to bed soon after that and had the weirdest dream
In my dream I was on the Jillian Michaels Ultimate Wellness Cruise. I couldn’t stand the thought of going days without my beloved smokes so I snuck them into my luggage. That’s pure comedy. Cigarettes on the Jillian Michaels Ultimate Wellness cruise would be considered contraband. Anyway I am sure you can see where this is headed. You guessed it. As I tried to sneak a smoke Jillian Michaels herself walked around the corner and caught me red handed. Cue lots of screaming and yelling and me telling her that she didn’t know how hard it was. At this point she grabbed me by the hand and informed me she was going to work me out so I would know what hard is. During the work out she said, “Why do you always do that?” “Do what I said.” She said, “You give your power away. You give your power to cigarettes because you say it’s too hard to quit. You give your power to soda because you have painted a mental picture in your head that you just must have it.” “Worst of all is in your life you’ve handed your power to other people. If they don’t eat right you say you can’t. You say it’s too tempting. I don’t care if they have a gallon of ice cream and patronize you with how good it is. You have the power to say no.” “and the next time tells you that you can’t do something for God sake prove them wrong this time. “
At this point my cat woke me up scratching my bed. The weirdest thing about this dream is I know everything Jillian said is true. Must be my inner me is trying to be heard. Maybe it is time for me to listen.