Abstinence has always been promoted in middle and high schools. When I was in high school, I had been taught about abstinence and what it was good for. I learned that sex can lead to physical illnesses. It was not until I chose to be abstinent that I saw the ramifications of living without having sex.
Abstinence is not solely based on physical strength. You have to be spiritually filled to abstain from sex. You cannot expect a teenage boy or girl whose body and environment have been processed with sexual images to abstain naturally. Abstinence takes prayer, and prayer takes discipline. In order to be abstinent one has to want it.
I have been abstinent on and off since my first sexual experience in high school. I did not really know anything about sex but I knew if I wanted to keep him I better open my legs, (please read my article psychological rape.) After that one time experience I had abstained from sex for about 2 years. I experienced psychological rape again because my nature as a people pleaser had not been cured. I later got to a point when I realized that because I did not love my ex’s I was not ready for sex.
It took prayer because I had to be spiritually equipped to say no to sex, not because I liked it but because I was a people pleaser. Prayer also naturally strengthened my mind and it released me from guilt. At age 22, I decided through surrounding myself with people who stood for purity that I was not going to have sex anymore till marriage. It took studying my habits of people pleasing, praying against my own urges for a man and sometimes sex for me to finally experience the peace that abstinence brings.
When I say abstinence brings peace, I am not speaking of not worrying about pregnancy before marriage or diseases — those are part of it — but I mean inner peace. I no longer have attached emotions to men who I know are not my husband and I no longer have the hunger of sex. I feel more relaxed mentally and emotionally. It is a break I have been longing for and I believe everyone should experience.
Abstinence is not easy. It takes a will and a desire to want to be pure. It is something that one can attain but all other bondages like people pleasing or sexual addiction has to be taken care of. All illnesses require prayer and medical help. So pray and seek help to attain abstinence and experience the peace that I have now.