Are you searching the internet for marriage advice? Are you getting ready to get married and want advice on how to be a great Christian wife? Just want to give advice to your engaged daughter? Here are a few tips for wives.
Don’t badmouth or criticize him on Facebook.
It makes me cringe to see Facebook users criticize their husbands on Facebook. Even if your husband has been lazy, messy or just plain grouchy, please keep it off of Facebook. It won’t be beneficial to your marriage in any way. How would you feel if your husband complained about you on Facebook?
Plus, most Facebook users really don’t want to hear about how inept you think your husband is. In addition, it just makes you look like a bad person. Keep your Facebook status updates reserved for recipes, bragging about your vacations, and mundane tasks.
Forgive and (try to) forget.
If your husband makes a mistake, forgive him and try your best to forget. Don’t constantly bring it up and remind him about it years later. This applies to both things that are minor, such as washing the whites with a red sock, or things that are big, such as running up a lot of credit card debt.
Don’t withhold sex as punishment.
Most counselors and marriage experts would say you should never withhold sex as a form of “punishment.” Sex should never be seen as something he must earn or be rewarded with.
Seek out help with sex related issues.
Do not be embarrassed to get help with sex related problems. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to go to a sex therapist, but you can seek out help through books and message boards. If you are needing book suggestions from a Christian viewpoint, please read “Best Christian Sex Books: Sex Tips for Christians.” Also, for sex forums, please read “Christian Sex Advice Websites: Discuss Married Sex Online in a Pornography Environment.”
Try your best to not complain about his mother or family.
This one can be very, very difficult to follow. However, it is good idea to try to never complain about his family. There are some exceptions, but it can be hurtful to hear negative things about his mother from you. Yes, there is a difference between a concern, and a complaint. However, try to be very careful with your words.
Never, ever correct or criticize him in public.
Most of you reading this would probably never do this. But, unfortunately, there are some husbands who have wives who do this. Never, ever “correct” your husband in public. For example, recently my husband and I were out to dinner with a couple, and the wive corrected her husband on how he held his fork. I cannot imagine what she corrects him for in private.
Thank him frequently for his hard work.
If your husband isn’t a hard worker, just skip this one and go on to the next tip. But, if your husband works diligently at a job, be sure to thank him frequently for his hard work. It is not strange or odd to tell him every day, “Thank-you for being such a hard worker for our family.” And, if he helps out around the house, be sure to thank him as well.
Don’t nag or complain if he doesn’t help out with household chores.
Many wives frequently complain because their husbands never clean, do laundry or help out with household chores. There’s nothing wrong with asking him (kindly) to help out. However, if he doesn’t, don’t nag or complain. Remember, marriage is not like your college roommate relationship. If he doesn’t help out, handle it as peacefully as possible.
This might mean hiring someone to help you clean or do odd jobs. In the book The Power of a Praying Wife, author Stormie Ormartian advocates getting a housekeeper when necessary. It is cheaper to hire a housekeeper than to have a heart attack, divorce or very unhappy marriage. And, by providing a housekeeper with a job you could be helping a single mom or someone else in need. Now, if your husband won’t agree to the expense or you simply cannot afford it, you have two choices: you can do it yourself, or deal with the mess.
Get counseling, if necessary.
If you are in troubled marriage, it’s time to seek help with a professional counselor. If your husband won’t go, go without him. Read “How to Find a Good Christian Marriage Counselor” for advice.
Don’t grumble about his hobbies or pastimes.
Does your husband enjoy watching football? Does he like to go hunting? Try your best not to complain about it. Many men need an outlet to relieve stress and just have fun. Now, if he is staying up late every night playing video games, that’s another story. However, for the most part, support him with the hobbies he enjoys.
These are just ten tips for wives and brides-to-be. Searching for more marriage advice? Take a look at “Newlywed Advice: 5 Tips for Newlyweds.” If you are getting married, you also might read “Christian Sex Tips for Virgins.”
Enjoy married life!