I had good intentions today. I really did. I even had a list compiled to help with organization. I was actually doing quite well this morning, but as the day wore on, things just went to hell.
First on my list was my laundry. I separated the whites, medium, and dark colors. Three average sized loads. I must have been a little distracted, thinking of the order of the loads. Like Mom always said, dark first, then medium, then whites because of the bleach thingy. Long story short, I poured bleach in my dark load. Well, at least I’m down to just two separations now, medium and white.
Next, I went upstairs to clean my bathroom. Because of an earlier unexpected chemical reaction, which involved temporary hallucinations and a desire to eat dog food, I have learned not to mix Clorox Clean-up with other cleaning agents, but no one ever warned me about leaning over a lit candle while wearing a sweatshirt turned inside out. Talk about a flash fire.
The phone rang as I was drawing my eyebrows back on. It was the niece asking me to check to see what time football practice for the little guy ended, and to call her back so she could let the sister know. It ended at 4:30. I called her back, the line was busy, I hung up, and we all know what happened after that. In my defense, I had a lot of things on my mind, like whether scorch marks came off porcelain.
I went back downstairs to check my medium colored load of laundry and to fold my other medium colored load. Half way through, I thought I saw something move over by the chair. Naah, it was just a shadow. Or was it? What the…? Great. It was a critically injured bird that the cat had been playing with. The bird was squeaking pitifully, almost like it was pleading with me to help it.
So I gathered up the mouse/ bird “Have a Heart” containment equipment, pulled on my gloves, and began my search and rescue operation. I was painfully wedged in between the couch and chair when the phone rang. Luckily, I cold see on the TV it was the niece, and figured she would call back. She did, several times, as I attempted to pry my delicately petite ass out from behind the chair and capture the freakin’ bird, which was flipping around behind the couch amusing the dog. I went to the kitchen to get the bird net and splash some water on my face.
As I passed the phone, it rang again so I answered it, being the multi-tasker I am. It was the niece still wondering about football practice, which by now was over. She eventually hung up on me, but prior to that, while we were “chatting” about my indifference toward others, Goddam, the cat, apparently slipped by me, in search of the the bird (which come to find out was what Trouble must have been trying to tell me by gnawing on my pant leg).
I returned to the living room just as the sister steamed in with the little guy in tow, leaving the door open wide enough for Goddam to escape with one-winged screeching bird in mouth. Trouble, attempting to cut them both off at the pass, got hung up on my lace curtain while jumping from the chair and ripped the bracket partially out of the wall.
I didn’t bother trying to explain anything at dinner. My troubles fall on deaf ears. As I listened to the niece scold me for not calling her back, the sister crabbing about the cannibal cat, and the kids whining about Milo (sigh…Milo is the hamster) needing a lock on his cage, it occurred to me that some days it’s just not worth chewing through the restraints.