I’m glad last night was the finale of The Bachelor Pad. I’m fed up with it. Every time you turned around, they changed the rules!
The writers manipulated the characters like puppets, bringing out the worst in them, then twisting the plot and bending the rules accordingly. For example, the winning couple was chosen by the votes of the members of the house not in the final four. Given the intense emotions (resentments?) of some of them, I found this pretty unfair. I had actually believed that people would advance according to their performances on the various challenges, rather than according to who hated whom.
But now that I think of it, the whole show was about alliances and grudges and voting people off. Just sometimes people were safe because they got roses, because of their skills at the challenges.
I went into the finale of the Bachelor Pad thinking Kiptyn and Tenley would win, because the competition involved dancing, and Tenley is a dancer. They did win that competition, but then made the foolish choice to keep Natalie and David rather than Elizabeth and Kovacs.
Elizabeth’s insecurity in her relationship with Kovacs was obvious last night, as well as her jealousy when he danced with the overly sexy dance instructor, on and on and on, while Elizabeth copied the choreographer’s moves in her shadow. That was sad, especially since we heard Kovacs’ thoughts in a voice-over: I can hardly control myself, she is so hot. Elizabeth definitely picked the wrong guy to fall in love with.
Natalie and Dave focused all their energy on learning the cha-cha, with their trainer encouraging them to put more and more of their sexiness and chemistry into their dance. At one point he asked them if they were sleeping together, then told them to pretend that they were when they danced. They did. They wanted to win.
Tenley and Kiptyn as usual were mutually supportive in their effort to master the fox trot, and when they performed, they were cute, sophisticated, and had lots of style. Although they fell at the end, they were the best, and they made their fall look fun and planned. Also, Kiptyn looked great in a tux.
Kovacs and Elizabeth wore the ultra-sexy costumes you see on dance shows. He looked a little like Patrick Swayze in low-cut black. But their costumes couldn’t overcome their lackluster dancing, a slow and boring rhumba that Natalie referred to as “Bambi on Ice.” The judges (Melissa, Jake, and Trista) were more charitable, but these two still lost.
Natalie’s outfit-like her behavior-was the sexiest. Both she and Dave are aggressive and self-assured. He wore a black sparkly robe that made him look like the wrestler Gorgeous George. They were okay. Judge Trista said, “Hello, sexiness.” But Natalie said, “That’s the first time we messed up,” and David added, “We did our best.”
So Kiptyn and Tenley were the winners of this competition, but the roses they got didn’t help them much when they sabotaged themselves by letting Kovacs and Elizabeth go. Why did they do that? David and Natalie won the voting, since several people seemed to come out of the woodwork with anger at Tenley.
Major drama, then, when we learn the rules for the last competition, between David and Natalie, so that the game ends with one winner, as promised (sort of). They have to go into separate rooms and choose to either Keep the money for themselves, or Share it with their partner. If they both pick Share, they share the money. If one picks Keep and the other Share, Keep gets all the money. If both are evil and pick Keep, neither gets the money; it’s divided among all the losers-you know, the ones who went home.
Complex, huh? Big decisions. Mucho excitement in the audience. They do pretty well with the acting, David hanging his head, pacing, etc., Natalie looking very serious and worried. Then they return. They have made their decisions. Dave goes first: Share. Then Natalie wants to give a little speech after Chris does his thing, to increase tension. He lets her, and whatever she says (it’s kind of garbled) seems to indicate that she wants to Keep all the money. (On the other hand, she’s crazy about David, so why would she do that?)
She doesn’t. She wants to share with him. They hug madly, David kisses Chris Harrison on the lips, and there is widespread joy at the Bachelor Pad.
I don’t think Tenley and Kiptyn are devastated; they have each other, and also, they can probably get some pretty good gigs now, and make lots of money anyway.
And Gia and Wes are together. As he said about her, “I don’t care about $250,000. I’ve got a million dollars right here.” She had to love that.
But the most memorable line of the night, I thought, was when Wes said, “They all think I’m so bad. But you know, bad boys need love too.”
Chris Harrison said the next Bachelor won’t be until next January. OMG, what are we gonna do? Stay tuned, I guess.