The third in my “Biggest D-Bags in Sports” series, and the second reader/fan-nominated choice
When you would rather go to jail than just admit the truth about something that happened years ago, the word “d-bag” just doesn’t completely describe you. Associated Content remains a website that generates revenue via advertisements, though, so “d-bag” will have to do when writing about Roger Clemens. The fall of seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens does not officially begin when he is arraigned on charges of lying to Congress. Clemens has been a d-bag for decades. Red Sox fans knew it. Yankees fans knew it. Mets fans knew it. Honestly, we’re all just glad the rest of you have finally caught up.
Clemens is special in that he is a five-level d-bag, a feat achieved only by those truly devoted to their craft. When you break it down, Clemens may actually be a bigger d-bag than LeBron James and Brett Favre combined (see end of piece for more).
Exhibit A: Clemens, like other “accused” roidheads, magically got better as he got older. Just when his career was thought to be on the downside, Clemens became the most dominant pitcher of his generation, winning more awards in his 30s than in his 20s. That sort of thing happens all the time with fire-ballin’ Major League Baseball pitchers, though, so I guess this example doesn’t really count.
Exhibit B: Clemens was the cause of arguably the most visible, non-funny “what the hell was he thinking?” moment in World Series history when he threw a piece of a broken baseball bat at catcher Mike Piazza in 2000. Mets fans have been calling Clemens a d-bag ever since.
Exhibit C: The special treatment Clemens demanded while with the Astros and Yankees made him a d-bag as a baseball player, professional athlete and a man. Not traveling with the team. Showing up during the season whenever he felt like it (hmm, I wonder why…). The “d” in “d-bag” doesn’t stand for diva, but Clemens decided to live that gimmick, anyway.
Exhibit D: Hollywood Brett Favre has out-Clemensed the Rocket in retirement speeches, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Clemens did the whole “I’m gone, no I’m back, nah I’m done, oh wait” spiel first. Has Clemens ever officially retired from baseball? I’d ask some of you to look it up and get back to me, but I couldn’t care less.
Exhibit E: Clemens’ testimony before Congress could be the ultimate spotlight that shines upon his d-bagness. A few press connections hardly puts me on the “inside” of things in the New York sports world, and I wasn’t there in different locker rooms to see if Clemens did, in fact, use performance enhancing drugs. I can only say that nobody, not a single person, I’ve spoken with/emailed/texted believes that Clemens told the entire truth when he testified.”Ego” is the answer I’m given to the “why hasn’t he just told the truth in order to, you know, avoid going to court and possibly jail?” question.
As with most d-bags, Clemens’ legacy has been undone by his own pride and feelings of self-importance. If his ego does land him behind bars for any period of time, Clemens will be more than just a d-bag. He’ll either be an idiot or a certifiable nut-ball who’s so deluded, he believes every lie he has conjured up through the years.
So congratulations to you, Roger Clemens, for being the third member added to Associated Content’s “Biggest D-bags in Sports” list. We’ll see you in, oh, about 15 to 21 months. Try and see if you can find God while you’re in the slammer. People always seem to be finding him in jail.
For more: Read Biggest D-Bags in Sports: LeBron James (here) and Brett Favre (here), Tell Me the Biggest D-Bags in Sports and Follow NYGExaminer on Twitter
