There’s been much debate lately about interracial dating, mostly about white men dating and marrying black women. Black men have been dating and marrying white women for years, but now there are more and more black woman/white man couples. Black women and white men are crossing the color line in order to find happiness, a kindred spirit and ultimately love.
I spoke with several black women of various ages and backgrounds and here’s what they said:
Some said that they would never, ever date a white man or a man of any other race and that they only wanted a black man, believing that some day they will find love and happiness with one. One woman who felt this way was in her late forties and was still waiting, looking and hoping.
Others said they were tired of being alone or settling and were willing to date a white man because of the lack of availability of good and decent black men. (This is not to say that there are not lots of wonderful black men that are good husbands, fathers and providers), but they just can’t seem to find one.
Two younger black women said that were considering dating white men because they felt that they wanted somebody who could buy them nice things, take them to nice places and provide a better lifestyle. One of these younger woman was college-educated with a good job and her own place. The other younger woman had only completed high school, had a child, lived with her mother and was not working. They were both honest about their intentions, but a bit misguided.
I also spoke with several white men of various ages and backgrounds and here’s what they said:
Some said that they just felt more comfortable and connected to their own and would not date a black women.
One said that he didn’t want to deal with negative reactions from people and would feel “uncomfortable” in a relationship with a black woman.
Several said that they’d been in bad relationships or marriages with white women, wanted to try something new and were curious because they found black women appealing physically and personality-wise and felt that they were more nurturing.
Another said that he wanted to find a black woman to date because he’d heard that they were very giving and responsive lovers and he wanted to find out if that was true. At least he was honest as were the two younger black women who only wanted a white man because they assumed that a white man would better their lifestyle financially.
Being a good lover has nothing to do with race nor does being financially secure, but whatever.
One older man, who’d been twice married and had several long-term relationships with white women said that he found them to be materialistic, too image-conscious, uninterested in sex (with him anyway) and that he felt under-appreciated and unloved. Hey, these are his words and not mine. He said that he felt like more of a financial support system than an object of true affection and desire. He said that he’d found what he sought with the one and only black woman that he’d dated and was still with her. (This is what he said and this is obviously his unique opinion based on his own negative experiences. People should not generalize based on the actions of few, but we all do. It’s how we form our own views and personal opinions whether they are right, wrong or indifferent).
Well, for whatever reason, a lot of black women and white men are looking to test the waters and many are proving to be a compatible match and finding what they seek relationship-wise.
Love and happiness are never bad things, are they? Does it really matter what color that love is?