In the bug world, friendships take on a whole new meaning with the MFP plan. I can only imagine what you humans will be thinking. When I came across this “Author Unkown” piece, my sunflower leaf breakfast spurted out of my eyes. (I know, that’s kind of gross for you eh? But do you really think I care?) I’m a bug, get over it.
So, get this; the sales-pitch for “Managed Friendship Plan” goes something like this:
“Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships! The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network, with important cost-saving features.“
Q: How Does It Work?
A: Under the Plan, you choose your friends from a network of pre-screened accredited Friendship Providers (FPs). All your friendship needs are met by members of your Managed Friendship Staff.
Q: What’s Wrong with my Current Friends?
A: If you’re like most people, you are receiving friendship services from a network of friendship providers haphazardly patched together from your old neighborhoods, jobs, and schools. The result is often costly duplication, inefficiency, and conflict. Many of your current friends may not meet national standards, responding to your needs with inappropriate, outmoded, or even experimental acts of friendship. Under Managed Friendship, your friendship needs are coordinated by your designated Best Friend, who will ensure the quality and goodness of fit of all your friendly relationships….cont. to next page for ” How do I know that the plan’s panel of friends is not made up of a bunch of losers who can’t make friends of their own…
Q: How Do I Know That the Plan’s Panel of Friends Is Not Made Up of a Bunch of Losers Who Can’t Make Friends on Their Own?
A: Many of today’s most dedicated and highly trained Friendship Providers are as concerned as we are about delivering Quality Friendship in a cost-effective manner. They have joined our network because they want to focus on acting like a friend rather than doing the paperwork and paying the high bad-friendship premiums that have caused the cost of traditional friendship to skyrocket. Our Friendship Providers have met our rigorous standards of companionship and loyalty.” -Author Unknown
Maybe it’s time you bought some real friends. I’m sure most of your current friends don’t meet national standards. Read the rest of the MFB plan here on; http://www.holisticmed.com/humor/friend.htmlfor even more laughs.
“A Bug’s Friendship Service” is run by me, an accredited Friendship Provider (FP) Email for all your friendship needs.
Scratch that, on second thought, don’t email me anything, I don’t think you can afford me.
Stay tuned for more Bug Humor
MFB plan www.holisticmed.com/humor/friend.html