I’m sure I am not the only cat owner that has wondered how such a dainty and graceful creature can manage to make so much noise when it runs around early in the morning. I’m not so sure there are many cat owners out there who would actually come up with a name like the Hippocatomus to describe the sound my pet cat makes when I hear her running around my apartment.
Possessed by some urge to be silly that I had no control over, I did an Internet search for information on the Hippopotamus, the actual real-life animal. This is what I found out:
-the hippopotamus is the 3rd largest mammal on Earth
-the hippopotamus can outrun most people during a charge
-the hippopotamus is not a very nice creature and can be very aggressive
-the biggest hippos stand 5′ tall at their shoulders
I was not able to glean any information about the size of their droppings, but I do recall reading once that the elephant produces dung pellets the size of pineapples. Fortunately, even though I have a strong suspicion that there is an animal with the ability to switch back and forth between cat and hippopotamus form, she stays in her cat form when she uses the litter box. Otherwise, if she even fit, which I can’t imagine, she would (a) squish the box, and (b) leave even more of a stink. Also, she stays in her cat form when she climbs on my bed, which is really a good thing, because I seriously doubt my bed is constructed to support the weight of a hippopotamus. Not to mention one would not be as cuddly.
Still, there is some evidence to support my theory about the existence of the mysterious and elusive Hippocatomus. Both animals yawn a lot and are fond of showing the insides of their mouths and all of their teeth. Both animals like to bury their entire bodies somehow until just their eyes are showing, so they can watch whatever is going on and be ready to react, or stay hidden so they can rest in peace and quiet. Perhaps the most compelling evidence has been gathered by my downstairs neighbors, who have heard Chloe running around when I am not home. One lady did say that it was hard to believe she was only a kitty cat, because she could hear Chloe jumping up onto things, crashing things over, and jumping back down onto the floor (or rather, in my neighbor’s case, the ceiling). The interesting thing is that there are never big holes gaping in my apartment when I get back, or stuff laying all over the place like it would be if a hippo got loose in it. Maybe this animal has special magic abilities to put everything back the way it was when it hears the human coming home. Interesting….