And now, a very special Halloween(ish) edition of Celebrity Gossip…
When it comes to deceased celebrities, no one lived it up more than Elvis Presley. After all, what good is fame and fortune if you can’t die from a drug overdose, face down on your bath mat with a turd tail hanging out of you while your hot wife screws the same karate instructor that gave you your meaningless black belt? Hey, they called him The King for a reason!
But as far as living celebrities go, no one can top Charlie Sheen. Besides my obvious appreciation for the golden material that Sheen routinely provides as fodder for gossip columns, I have to admire a man that makes the most of his wealth and status. When it comes to utilizing star power, would you rather listen to Leo DiCaprio make didactic speeches about global warming, hear Sean Penn rant incoherently about the Haitian government, or see Sheen drive a flaming SUV over a cliff before going incognito and walking around town in a weird disguise, complete with fake mustache? I think the answer is crystal clear.
Sheen’s recent shenanigan’s left behind a scene that could have come straight out of “The Hangover,” with Sheen going on a furious, drug-fueled rampage at The Plaza Hotel and leaving porn actress/high class prostitute Capri Anderson cowering in the bathroom. Apparently, the incident that set off the “Wild Thing” was his suspicion that Anderson had stolen his $100,000 watch (which, to the highest paid actor on television, would be like you and I losing a slap bracelet). Sheen was promptly taken to the obligatory rehab center and promptly assigned a “sober coach,” who had better be the ghost of Vince Lombardi if he’s to succeed. To me, Sheen’s greater crime is still “Two and a Half Men.”
Dealing in people’s insobriety is actor Dan Aykroyd, whose Crystal Head brand vodka has taken the U.S. and Canada by storm this Halloween. The multiple Razzie award winning Aykroyd has been spotted at conventions throughout the country signing the skull-shaped bottles for fans (true story: I found a signed one available online selling for LESS than the retail value). The vodka’s design and name are based on real crystal skulls found in the Yucatan in the 1920s underneath an altar in a Mayan temple and rumored to hold “special powers.” However, I doubt that there are enough “special powers” in that vodka to make me want to sit through “Caddy Shack II” or Aykroyd attempting to play the “blues.”
Fun Halloween fact: According to paranormal enthusiast Aykroyd, who wrote and produced “Ghostbusters,” the hideously gluttonous green ghost, Slimer, was supposed to be the ghost of dear friend and fellow Blues Brother John Belushi. Um, I guess that’s a tribute…weird.