Divorce is rough on the entire family. Yet, sometimes it is the roughest on the children involve. That is why it is the parent’s responsibility to learn how to put aside their hurt emotions and learn how to become better co-parents to their children. Here are some tips that will hopefully benefit the children involve:
Remember the phrase: Put the children and parenting first
When you are having a bad day, sometimes it can help if you just tell yourself you need to put the children and the parenting first. As a parent, this should always be your first instinct. It can be hard goal to accomplish all the time. But if you try your best to keep remembering that phrase and keep centering your thoughts on it, you are more apt to actually accomplish that goal.
Work on the three big rules of parenting together:
Be respectful of each other:
• Don’t talk about each other’s behind one’s back, especially when the children are around
• Don’t use the children as messengers
• Don’t try to find out information about the other one through the children
• Try to have the same basic rules in each other’s houses: same bedtimes, same punishments, etc.
• Talk through issues together and learn to compromise.
• Talk to each other about your children’s lives
• Discuss upcoming events and learn to share some of these together such as club events, sporting events, etc.
• Also discuss punishments, classes, etc.
• When decisions needs to be made regarding the children discuss issues together
When you get a new partner, give your ex time to get to know this new person
• After divorce, it is inevitable that eventually one or both of you will eventually get new partners. Allow your ex time to get use to this new person.
• Give them chances to get to know one another one on one.
Once you see that your ex’s new partner is going to be around for the long haul realize:
• That his/her opinions will matter
• This person will be involved in children’s lives
• This person should have some say when your children are with him/her
Co-parenting is not going to be an easy task. Then again parenting in general is not an easy task. Just remember the one cardinal rule, the children and the parenting must come first. If you do that, everything will work out in the end.
Note: Statistics show that children of divorce are:
• Three times more likely to be expelled from school
• Five times more likely to live in poverty as an adult or become a criminal