When you first find out that you are pregnant it’s like a whole new world has opened up, you dream of the day when you will give birth and what your life will be like. You ask other parents if it’s as wonderful and happy as it’s portrayed on television, and they all say the same thing ‘Yes, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, I can’t remember my life before I had my baby.’ What they forgot to tell you was…they are lying. I mean sure they probably can’t remember life before their baby…because they haven’t slept in weeks but other than that, it’s nothing but lies tumbling out of their big ol’ mouths.
Well, I am about to set the record straight because here are 5 changes you have to look forward to after you give birth.
You are never getting back into your pre-pregnancy clothes, really never. Your body has gone through some serious changes and I’m not just talking about the weight gain. Sure everyone gains weight, you’re pregnant that’s what happens, I am talking about the proportional changes to your body. Say goodbye to your skinny little hips and perky chest, they will be stretched to the max from your little bundle of joy making their entrance into this world. My children still say you’re welcome when they hear me screaming ‘thanks kids’ as I try on my skinny jeans. I plan to explain sarcasm very soon.
Sleep is a thing of the past people, deal with it. You will constantly hear about how it will all go back to normal when the baby starts to sleep through the night at 3 months. I am calling shenanigans on that because you know what, they never sleep through the night. They want to cuddle, snuggle and love you and it’s great but they are babies for goodness sake, they can’t tell time so if they want that at 3 a.m.,then you my friend had better supply it at 3 a.m.
Your sex life will be put on hold…indefinitely, and the worst part is, you will not care. You will be so tired by this point that if there is any point in the day when you can lay down with your partner you will both gaze at each other happily and roll on your side to grab a few peaceful minutes of sleep. If you don’t believe this to be true please scroll back up and refer to point 2.
You will take a break from things that are not necessities like eating and showering and for no other reason than you forgot to do them. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. You will look around at some point in the day only to realize you have been wearing the same clothes for a week and the last thing you put in your mouth was the babies binky. Oh, but at the same time you will begin to live off of coffee without fear of being over caffeinated. That’s what you are looking for, the caffeine buzz that will help you stay awake until all hours of the night. A word of warning if you are nursing, no coffee! That little snuggle bug will never sleep if you fill her full of caffeine.
You will find out what unconditional love feels like, because after all the sleepless, sexless, shower-less, and food-less days and nights there is nothing better than holding your baby close to your heart and breathing in their sweet baby scent.