I think I have to agree with the self appointed big thinkers – them redneck folks are just plain trouble, ain’t they? A lot of ’em talk kinda funny, ya know. And from what I hear they got Summer teeth – summer here, summer not! Bastards!
I have finally come round to their way of thinking. Clearly unless one attends university, and the right ones too boot; unless one lives in the appointed proper places and works in the desired industries; unless one holds the proper views and vocally espouses them as directed, well, gee, anyone can see how this could be an issue!
I know I hate tradespeople. When my drain is backed up I usually crap outside because everyone hates plumber’s crack, right? Them guys that clean my gutters are the worst too. They climb ladders! How safe and concerned for the collective is that? And in my area, most are not union members, so ya know that’s a problem! Bunches of them drive pick up trucks and own guns and some of them even have gun racks and they actually drive around with guns sometimes in the rack! That can’t be a good thing!
Do folks know what these people do for entertainment, after they work and all to support their families and pay taxes? Some of the idiots go to church on Sundays! What fools they must be, right? And have ya seen how they dress? Ya know a bunch of ’em shop at that hateful Wal Mart, and Target, so ya know you’re dealing with a low class SOB for sure. And they by their groceries at places called Piggly Wiggly or Food Lion. Rednecks!
They work with their hands, most of ’em. What a clear sign of a lack of intelligence. Anyone who does not tell others what to do as a matter of course is clearly not a “thinker” as we are assured they need to be. But the worst part is that bunches of ’em don’t vote right. Some of these redneck dolts actually vote based on that antiquated Constitution – idiots! Haven’t they been listening? Oh, that’s right – even if they were listening, as they are of limited intelligence, clearly they could not understand the point even if they listened to every word. I mean, that’s what we’ve been told, right?
Yeah, come the apocalypse the first persons I look for are urban and suburbanites. After all, they’re the smart ones, so they keep telling us, so when the feces contacts the air circulation device, I always seek out people who know all there is to know about living cheek by jowl on their neighbors, because they are the experts at how to get along with other humans, and especially in any time of upheaval, I want them big brained folks to think for me.
Why would I want to be with people who know how to grow their own food? Who can repair their own vehicles and such? So what if they have a chainsaw? Big deal – cutting down trees or worse, clearing brush, are clearly NOT things we smart folks do, right? That’s for haters of the environment. Oh, and them rednecks hunt ya know. They kill animals! Where is the Whale Wars boat when ya need it? If them Whale Wars folks are so concerned with animals they should sail that boat to Tennessee – them SOB’s will kill a deer or hog for sport!
If one works with their hands clearly they are lacking some serious gray matter, right? Anyone can build stuff – it doesn’t take a single bit of expertise to design and then construct something out of pieces parts. Heck, that’s fly by night stuff anyway.
Nope, give me a smart feller. One that lives in a town house or apartment, but that knows Twitter inside out. I mean if I ain’t glued to social media clearly I am not in the loop. It’s important to know who “The Situation” is, right? No, I much prefer urban livers. I prefer it when I hang with other folks who feel we are clearly superior to those lesser folks. The crowd that wears boots to work are the bottom rung of the ladder.
I think it much better that we isolate and exclude the redneck from the amalgam of America, don’t you? I mean some of them are Tea Party folks! I heard yesterday in some poll that 71% of Republicans and conservatives support the Tea Party stuff! 71%! See, these people should not be allowed to vote for Heaven’s sake.
Does our nation really need “God fearing” fools that drive pick ups and SUV’s out there casting a ballot? If these people vote, they run the risk of ruining all our good work! Isn’t it obvious that anyone who does not agree with us is the problem? They are not smart enough, as John Kerry informed us, to make informed decisions, unless they get little sayings they can repeat. Only smart people scream “No war for oil,” and “Bush lied, people died!” and other smart stuff like that.
Do they have a clue as to how hard we’ve worked to marginalize them? To offset their traditional, flag waving stuff? I mean seriously now! How can anyone take serious a bunch of people who think rich old white men form the late 1700’s could have gotten this “running a modern nation” down right? How smart can they be if they don’t agree that world governing organizations should be in charge? That sharing the wealth is good? Redistribution is the way and if they can’t get on board, well then how can we let them vote? Their bizarre adherence to 200 year old ideas are proof positive these people have some real growing to do.
I agree friends – it’s time we drag them to it. Like Cass Sunstein says, “people have some Homer Simpson in them,” and that means we can’t leave serious decisions up to them! We have to direct and guide them to doing what we think they need to do. But no, these rednecks are independent minded cusses. They actually think their own autonomy to decide how to live their pitiful little lives is their right! What foolishness. Don’t they know their rights are whatever we decide they are? I mean, do ya know these rednecks actually buy their own health insurance? They actually think they are responsible for their own behavior. The horror! Haven’t these redneck dolts been listening?
The quicker we can quiet these rednecks, the better for this country. After all, we need to return it to our principles of hope and change, right? Remember, the Founder’s were classical liberals, so anyone who isn’t now a liberal is obviously part of the problem and not the solution. Economic justice and all that, right folks? And we do need to raise their taxes – after all, we have social programs we need to invent and fund! We need to make sure ACORN is fully funded. And we can’t let them allow sodas in schools! No trans-fats anywhere, anytime! And salt should be banned. And get them toys out of those Happy Meals – it’s making our fat assed kids fat!
I think the clear solution is more government regulation and more government employees for sure. We need to keep an eye on these rednecks and at least try to guide them in the proper direction. They might be able to feed, clothe and house themselves but that does not mean they know how to live properly! Heck, cavemen could do that too, and they would be rather out of place now. I mean ya have seen the GEICO commercials, right?
Okay friends, ya know what ya have to do. Make sure to denigrate fellow Americans at every turn. Repeat the social justice mantras and make sure to remind the rednecks that just because this Administration has tons and tons of radical and admitted Communists and Marxists in it, that’s no reason to resist. Everyone knows Marx and Lenin weren’t the problem.
No, the real problem is people who go to church. People who support Israel! People who think the Iranian nutjob should be bombed into vapor. People who resist mosques at Ground Zero are the problem. And it’s certain that if they have any objection whatsoever to the progressive agenda they are racists, cause ya know a black guy is president, and that surely drives them all crazy! Bigoted rednecks! Conservatives! Republicans! Tea Parties! Tax payers! Flag wavers! Jingoists!
I think we need to censor conservative talk radio and especially Fox News too! People guilty of hate speech do not have a right to the First Amendment, right? Surely Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh need to be silenced! And Sarah Palin? Don’t get me started!