On Monday, August 30, ABC revealed the cast for Season 11 of Dancing with the Stars. The Season 11 cast includes the usual alleged stars, celebrities, D-Listers and has-beens, the requisite athletes, and a couple “you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me” entries. This may be the weakest cast of “stars” since the inception of the show. Here is a less than objective look at the Season 11 Dancing with the Stars cast.
Bristol Palin: Let’s start with a “you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me” choice. Pairing Bristol Palin in the same sentence with the word “star” may be the most egregious use of the word star ever associated with network television. ABC would have the viewing public believe that being the daughter of perhaps the most unqualified Vice-Presidential candidate in American history, and getting pregnant as an unmarried teen makes you a star. This is a new low in a business where the bar is already set at a subterranean level.
Jennifer Grey: Grey is dusting off her old dancing shoes. Its been over twenty years since Grey teamed with Patrick Swayze in the hit Dirty Dancing. Though not a classic has-been, Grey has done little of note since. There may be a contingent hoping to see her recreate that dancing magic on the small screen. Twenty years is a long time to wait for a comeback, but her dancing past may make her a dark horse favorite out of the Dancing with the Stars starting gate.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino: Okay, I acknowledge guido fever has swept the country and no amount of rational thinking or decency is going to stop it. But really, haven’t these obnoxious, socially inept, drunkards from
Jersey Shore had their time in the sun? Heck, if being obnoxious, socially inept and drunk, I could have been on Dancing with the Stars when i was twenty-two. Shredded abs do not a star make. At least it is not oompa-loompa Snooki.
Michael Bolton: At last, a bona-fide star. Being a star may not be what it once was, but at least Bolton once was a star: A two-time Grammy winner, with record sales in the millions and legions of swooning female fans, “The Voice” had his last hit recording in…..umm….1991. Since then he has cut off his hair, and taken to recording Sinatra covers while touring the casino circuit. If this guy can dance at all, he probably winds up as the DWTS champion, as those legions of fans (now women in their forties and fifties) will keep him in the ballroom deep into season 11.
Man, if they could only get David Lee Roth on DWTS. Now THAT would be worth tuning in to see!
Florence Henderson: Carol Brady on Dancing with the Stars? Now we are talking. We had better talk loud. Florence is 76 years old. Her time is past, but she certainly was a star. As the designated old person, Henderson has to fill the substantial shoes of Dancing with the Stars season 10 old guy (former astronaut and real life moon-walker) Buzz Aldrin, who, though he could not dance a lick comported himself with dignity and class, showing America that seniors can still have energy and purpose. Henderson had a long career in theater before becoming a household name with The Brady Bunch. No gripes here.
As a personal aside…Regarding Buzz Aldrin…I hope America understands the kind of coconuts a man had to possess to do what Aldrin did (travel to the moon and back) when he did it. This is truly an American hero. We could use more men like him in 2010.
Brandy: This one elicits nothing more than a yawn. Not much to get excited about here. Yet another young phenom whose star flamed out. She is a talent and sold a lot of records…in the 1990’s. Her biggest gig since then has been as a judge on America’s Got Talent. Dancing with the Stars appearance looks like a gambit to promote her reality show (yes imagine that…yet another “star” with a reality show chronicling their life) Brandy and Ray J: A Family Business.
David Hasselhoff: At first glance, it appears Hasselhoff may be the headliner of this motley crew. That is not a compliment to the casting department. The former Knight Rider and Baywatch and serial rehab patient is ready to strut his stuff on DWTS. Fresh from a stint as a judge on America’s Got Talent (why he gave that up, I do not know), “The Hoff” brings animal magnetism (cough) the dance floor. Let’s hope he can stay on his feet. Maybe ABC is trying to pick up ratings in Germany. Hopefully Hasselhoff will not sing.
Margaret Cho: What, Carrot Top was not available? That really is not fair to Cho, who actually has a job these days, appearing on Drop Dead Divas. She is a working performer, but “star” may be a bit of a stretch.
Audrina Patridge: Patridge is the glamor girl of DWTS season 11. That her bona-fides begin and end with a reality series, “The Hills”, on which she was not even the featured cluck, says something about the star power of this season’s cast. Patridge is admittedly an attractive woman, but she cannot boast but she just does not cannot carry the beauty portion of the show the way Nicole, Pam, and Erin did in Season10.
Rick Fox: The former University of North Carolina star and NBA player has manged to put together a fairly solid acting career since his retirement from basketball. Many athletes have done well on DWTS in the past, at least partly owing to their generally superior coordination and coachable nature. We shall see how that translates with Fox. He has both the athletic and performance experience to make him a competitor. His 6’7″ stature may be a detriment though. Who will he be partnered with?
Kurt Warner: Former NFL quarterback Warner has a Super Bowl Ring, and a couple of the most outstanding passing seasons NFL history, so it is hard to argue he was not not a star. He has Bristol Palin and Mike Sorrentino beat by a long shot in that regard. Former NFL players have fared well on DWTS notably Emmit Smith, Jerry Rice, and Warren Sapp. The clean living Warner does not have the personal aura of any of those guys, but that does not mean he cannot dance.
Kyle Massey: Kyle is the youngest male celebrity cast member of Dancing with the Stars season 11. He appeared on a couple of Disney Channel programs, most notably That’s So Raven. That is about all I know of him, other than the has recorded a few rap songs…but who hasn’t? Good luck to him.
So there you have it. The entirely underwhelming “Stars” of Dancing with the Stars, season 11. I seriously think a re-evaluation is in order for this show. I know it pulls huge ratings, but is this the best they can come up with as far as “stars” go?.Really…Bristol Palin? Really?